30 Days of Truth - Day 4

Something you have to forgive someone for

I think it's really hard for me to hold a grudge. There are people I'd rather not associate myself with, but that's different. Holding a grudge is like having someone occupy your mind rent-free.

I think in time, I can forgive my dad. After all, he is my dad. But there's a difference between forgiving and forgetting. That's why forgiveness is hard. Only time will tell.

I'm done.

30 Days of Truth - Day 3

Something you have to forgive yourself for

There are lots of things I blamed myself for.

I blamed myself for my parents' divorce. It took a long time to come to terms with it and to finally understand it wasn't my fault. Divorce was inevitable before that thing happened to me. After we left my dad, my aunt told was still calling my mom and saying that "WE" ruined my dad. After all the messed up things my dad did and it was us that ruined him. My mom told my aunt that it's not him that's ruined. We left to stay away from him and we were better off, but it was us that he shattered. The way we left him was wrong, but everyone whom we talked to and told about what happened, even my grandpa and other aunt (father's side), told us it was the right thing to do.

Another thing I have to forgive myself for is how everything went down with my ex. I can't move on if I can't forgive myself. It's true, that later on I wanted to be with her. But it has more to do with the fact that I could already tell before we broke up that I was losing her. Even before that, I was already committed after I got back from the Philippines, but the months leading into the inevitable was already apparent. I was indecisive because I didn't want her that badly. I didn't want to end the relationship because I really did like her, but it wasn't strong enough. I didn't have the guts to break up with her. I knew I was gonna get hurt big time for this if it ended. But it was great while it lasted.

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn

I'm done.

30 Days of Truth - Day 2

Something you love about yourself

Last year I wouldn't even know how to answer this question... let alone think about anything I love about myself. All I needed was time and a lot of self reflection. For most of my life, the one thing that was constant about me is that I can easily make friends... a quality I have abandoned after years of stress in college. I don't know what it is, but this also ties with the skill to make any baby warm up to me and smile or laugh.

If there is something that I love about myself, then it would have to be this. I don't have a word for it, but I'll refer to it as "THIS" or "THAT."

I'm done.

30 Days of Truth - Day 1

Something you hate about yourself

Sometimes your mind can be the biggest downer you ever encounter. This is why I shouldn't be left alone for a long time. My mind starts to wander and I start thinking.

I got this list from my friend and for lack of creative writing, I'm resorting to this. Day 1 focuses on something that you hate about yourself. Well, I don't like the word 'hate.' But if I have to hate something about myself, it would have to be this matter of thinking too much.

Types of Gamers 2010 Edition

I think it’s time to update this to the 2010 edition including newer species I haven’t catalogued.

I started compiling this article back in 2004. I made numerous iterations until finally submitting it to Gaming World in early 2005(Types of Gamers). At first, this article was designed to help sort out the confusion between ‘hardcore gamers’ and ‘old-school gamers.’

The information is 50/50 split between gamers, editorials written over time from magazines and websites around the world and my observations. The definitions are somewhat rigid and not all gamers will fall into just one place. There’s a little bit of 2 or 3 or more of each of these in us. To accompany you while reading, I prepared my playlist to play select game music from OCRemix.