TL;DR Movie Reviews of 2014

I haven't made a movie review at all this whole year. Here's a list and quick review of all the movies I've seen in 2014 (I probably won't see another one until next year).

1. The LEGO Movie - It's like when you see your childhood flash right before your eyes. You can't help but reminisce all the times you've played make believe and content with actual toys instead of videogames. Everything is awesome!
2. 300: Rise of an Empire - Too little. Too late. Except Eva Green. The movie probably would be 'meh' without her.
3. Journey to the West (2014) - I actually saw this at Otakon '14 in one of their video screenings. If you liked Kung Fu Hustle's comedy, this will fight right in.
4. Divergent - Based on the trilogy. It's no Twilight/Hunger Games, but it will do. It's like an edgy, dystopian Harry Potter.
5. Noah (2014) - It's based on the graphic novel that is based on the Biblical account of the flood. It was... interesting.
6. Captain America: The Winter Soldier - One of the best superhero movies to come out this year. This is also one of the best superhero stories of all time. Marvel dun good.
7. Transcendence - It's not the action-packed sci-fi movie you'd expect. It was slow-paced and almost artsy, but overall okay plot of a man who was poisoned and had his mind uploaded to a super computer to keep himself alive, in which he becomes the first A.I. of sort that could have helped humanity if it weren't for the technophobes.
8. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 - An okay movie, but the studio added some other stuff to try and compete with what Marvel is doing with the Avengers. It was a fail.
9. Million Dollar Arm - Based on a true story of this reality show made in India, a country who favors cricket over baseball, to find two pitchers for Major League team. I saw this on Korean Air on my way to the Philippines. Great movie.
10. Godzilla (2014) - The movie did not show as much of Godzilla and focused more on Heisenberg and future Scarlet Witch/Quicksilver.
11. Blended - An Adam Sandler romantic-comedy about single parents who went to an African Safari. It's classic Adam Sandler/Drew Barrymore.
12. X-Men: Days of Future Past - The movie that scrubs away the travesty that was X-Men: The Last Stand. They did right with this franchise.
13. Maleficent - A new Disney fad of recreating live-action movies of their cartoons. Angelina Jolie played Maleficent really well.
14. Edge of Tomorrow - It's so much more than just Groundhog Day with aliens. It's Groundhog Day with aliens... starring Tom Cruise and the oh-so beautiful and lovely Emily Blunt. Underrated movie.
15. 22 Jump Street - Undercover cops. This time, they're going to college. Just as funny and great as the first movie.
16. Transformers: Age of Extinction - There can't be too many Transformers. I still can't believe this is the most successful movie of 2014 (made over $1 billion worldwide).
17. Snowpiercer - I saw this on the plane to the Philippines. It's a post-apocalyptic movie where the entire world is covered in a global cooling and the only survivors are living on an endless running train where the poorest live all the way in the last train car.
18. Deliver Us from Evil - An exorcism movie based on a true story in New York.
19. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes - A sequel to Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Hail Caesar.
20. Lucy - A Luc Besson movie on what if we could unlock 100% of the brain's potential starring Scarlett Johansson
21. Little Miss Sunshine - This is an oldie, but I haven't seen it. With the exception of the brother, everyone played their character pretty well.
22. Guardians of the Galaxy - The other great superhero movie of 2014. A start of a new franchise. Also, Marvel. Can't. Fail.
23. The Equalizer - Loosely based on the tv series that my mom loved to watch when were in the Philippines in the 80s. This version is more violent and gorier. It's an avenging-type movie.
24. John Wick - A great special agent movie. The movie happens because someone killed John Wick's dog. PETA approved.
25. Kick-Ass 2 - The sequel to Kick-Ass. Part of me wanted to like it as much as first movie, but it just didn't held up. The plot for the first movie was more believable than this one.
26. Nightcrawler - Jake Gyllenhaal plays a convincing manic/wired guy who learns his ways around the nightcrawling profession: people who rush to accidents, shootings, and other aftermaths to film them and sell the footage to the highest bidding news channel. The gorier the better. He's also crazy.
27. Interstellar - I've seen this movie twice on regular theater with my parents and IMAX 70mm with my sister (her Christmas gift for me). I cried both times.
28. Big Hero 6 - A Disney CGI animated movie based on a Marvel comic book that nobody really knows about. It was a success. BayMax *glomp*
29. The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 - It's no longer about the games. It's about war propaganda and rebellion.
30. The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies - It's finally over. Very overdrawn scenes just to make it longer.
31. Into the Woods - Not your typical musical turned to movie. It starts out all happy and hopeful. Then the second act washes it all away.

I'm done.

Nanoblock - Christmas Themed Sets

This took about 2 weeks to make (planning, execution, breaks). It's made using 4 separate Nanoblock Christmas holiday themed sets. I made the platform using Styrofoam and chalk foam boards. I originally planned on printing a generic snowy background. Instead I used a glossy white spray paint I got few years ago for the stars and snow mountains. I inserted a tiny 10-LED bulb series into the Styrofoam for lighting. With the extra pieces I've accumulated, I made additional candy canes, gifts, a sleigh for the lone Christmas bear connected to the two reindeer and the Festivus pole on the right.

Music: djinthedark - Greensleeves (DJ_ITD Remix)

I'm done.

Glow in the Dark Puzzle - Dinosaurs

I found this Glow in the Dark Puzzle at Target and thought of making a timelapse video. I managed to track down the original artist. You can check out some of his work at his website.

Original illustration: "Meeting Under the Waterfall" by Jan Patrik Krasny
http://krasnyart.eu/bookcovers.php?zan=22&page=2

Music: Jurassic Techno
Artist: DJ Ralmark

WTF Fridays - asdfmovie 1-8 (Complete Collection)

I saw the first of these movies a few years ago. I didn't know there were 8.

I'm done.

WTF Fridays - Too Many Cooks

So that escalated quickly. 80s throwback.

I'm done.

Nanoblock - Chrysler Building

This was the cheapest building set for Nanoblock at $13. I couldn't resist.

I'm done.

Halloween 2014

I had about two weeks to think up of a costume. There were no events to attend or contests, but I like to dress up when handing out candy to “trick or treat-ers. I still have my blond wiga nd 80s getup from past Otakon conventions. I thought about combining the two. I went for the Zack Morris look (Saved by the Bell). I wished I had the giant cellphones from that era. My siblings and I did have that toy when we were little.

I also had a thought about dressing up as Finn from Adventure Time. I bought the costume on sale for half-off. Shopping around for the items and props to build, I decided I would use this costume for Otakon next year. There are some props that I’d like to try out to make this into a crossover character with another series. It should be a nice project to keep me occupied.

I also had my Drive jacket (the one worn by Ryan Gosling) and the prop hammer. Those came into the mix along with LED light up goggles and gloves. Needless to say, kids loved the costume. One little girl in a witch outfit said to her mom: “I wish I was him.” LOL. Another kid had trouble finding the palm of my hand because of the LED light up gloves. He ended up high-fiving the back of my hand.

Our neighbors gather around the cul de sac every Halloween for kids to grab their candy from each bowl that the neighbor brought. It was my first time going there. Spoke with some of the neighbors. I ended up bringing what’s left of our candy into the pile. It was a good day.

 

I'm done.

Nanoblock - Hello Kitty

I was at Toys R Us last weekend and found this Nanoblock - Hello Kitty. Created this video. Epic timelapse music video is epic.

Just for some added luls, here are superheroes/villains getting the kawaii treatment.

I'm done.

EVERYONE IS LONELY

LYRICS:
We’re all the same
No matter how we’ve grown
Colors of our skin
Defections in our bones

There's one we share
Everyone everywhere
We're all alone
We're all alone.

Everyone is fundamentally lonely
Whether you trust science or a church
Because we’re scared
Some of us make pairs
And some of us are still on the search

But everyone is fundamentally lonely
So here’s daily advice
You’re in pain
And everyone feels the same
So just be ..... nice.

What do you lose
When life’s already the worst
Leave a bigger tip
Let that guy in line first

We’re all lonely
Pay for their coffee
Pick up that trash
I know it’s not your trash.

Everyone is fundamentally lonely
Sometimes it comes out as rage
Screaming in a store
Cause they’re lonely at the core
So be calm when you engage

Everyone is fundamentally lonely
And I’m not saying to sacrifice
Lend some support
At the airport
It won’t kill you to be nice.

Everything is stupid
Success is a projection
We’re all quietly helpless
Being nice is a connection

Blaring your car horn
Won’t make you feel tremendous
But picking up something someone dropped
Will make this whole thing less horrendous

Everyone is fundamentally lonely
Even the ones who pretend they’re not
Be nice today
It’ll make things just slightly ok
On this lonely, little blue dot.

I'm done.

PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale

This game is the gaming world equivalent of fan service. Hot on the heels of the wildly successful crossover fighting game, Super Smash Bros. franchise, Sony developed PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale and released it in November 2012. It follows the same concept as Smash Bros.: Characters that made their name on PlayStation consoles are drawn to various "time holes" scattering everyone across different points in history of PlayStation. Parappa the Rapper, Kratos from God of War, Heihachi from Tekken, good and evil Cole from inFAMOUS, and many more battle it out among the who's who of PlayStation games.

Colonel Radec (Killzone), Jak and Daxter (Jak and Daxter), Heihachi (Tekken), Nathan Drake (Uncharted), Kratos (God of War), Cole MacGrath (inFAMOUS), Sweet Tooth (Twisted Metal), Big Daddy (Bioshock), Sly Cooper (Sly Cooper), Fat Princess (Fat Princess), Parappa (Parappa the Rapper), Toro Inoue (Doko Demo Issyo)

Up to four players can battle each other using characters from various Sony franchises, as well as third-party franchises. There are, however, differences in how opponents are defeated. During the game, players damage other players to receive "AP" orbs that build up a power meter at the bottom of the screen (These orbs can also be found on the stage over the course of the match). Earning enough power allows players to use one of three levels of special attacks named "Super Moves" which can be used to defeat opponents and earn points. The game features cross-platform play between the PlayStation 3 and PlayStation Vita versions.

The game features a traditional single-player arcade mode, in which players must defeat several randomly selected opponents, followed by a character-specific rival battle and, ultimately, a battle against the game's main antagonist and final boss, Polygon Man. Multiplayer modes include time-based matches, where players compete to achieve the most kills within a time limit, stock based matches, where players attempt to be the last one standing, and kill-limit matches, where players compete to be the first to reach a certain number of kills. The game also features a single-player challenge mode, in which players attempt to complete specific objectives. [1]

First half of the Hades stage based on God of War.

Along with the host of varying playable characters, All-Stars also comes with a range of items and levels influenced by various PlayStation franchises. The game features 14 different arenas for battle, with elements in each one that can damage characters and cause them to lose AP. Each stage is based on a combination of two games, such as "Sandover Village" (based on Jak and Daxter and Hot Shots Golf), "Dreamscape" (based on LittleBigPlanet and Buzz!), "Stowaways" (based on Uncharted and BioShock Infinite), and "Hades" (based on God of War and Patapon). As time passes, a stage's second representation takes hold, usually introducing a map hazard into the level. In addition, there are several item pick-ups that can be utilized by players, such as the Hedgehog Grenade from Resistance, the Gravity Shield from Wipeout, Baumusu's Axe from Rise of the Kasai, and Razor Claws from Ratchet & Clank. These items can be used to augment a player or do damage to an opponent. [2]

This can be a fun casual game and be treated as a serious fighting game. There are a few downsides. Players can only win a match if they have the most points based on number of kills (+2) and deaths (-1). The only way to kill opponents is by using your Super Moves. On time-limited matches, players can just make the first kill and avoid being killed for the duration of the match. This requires a different strategy compared to most fighting games. Single-player mode uses still images in both the character intros and endings, only using in-game graphics of the characters having a pre-match conversation with their sub-boss before fighting Polygon Man.

Overall, it's a good game. The controls are easy to pick up. No long string of character-specific button combinations to memorize. The story is cheesy and just what you'd expect in a crossover game. It's currently free for PlayStation Plus subscribers on the PlayStation Network for September.

I'm done.

LEGO Architecture - The Eiffel Tower

I made the nanoblock version of the Eiffel Tower before. This is the LEGO Architecture version.

My Memories

Kelly Gunderson's 87-year-old mother has Alzheimer's disease and on some days, her mother can't even recognize the daughter she raised. Despite the odds, Kelly's mother manages to remember long enough on this day to have a conversation with her daughter.

I pride myself in remembering a lot from my childhood and, generally, a lot of my past with vivid, almost absolute, accuracy. It would be devastating if I suffered dementia such as Alzheimer's (God, forbid). There's irony in contemplating memory loss. The thought haunts and disarms me. Of course, my mental health would deteriorate and, eventually, I'd be incognizant of my condition.

The people I know... relationships... places I've been... home... sights, sounds and scents... the only treasures all should cherish... slowly unwinds... phasing in and out your mind... then, suddenly... gone.

Strangers. Foreign. Alien. Confusion. Alone.

"Oh, Mama, look at me one minute as though you really saw me. Mama, fourteen years have gone by. I'm dead. You're a grandmother, Mama! Wally's dead, too. His appendix burst on a camping trip to North Conway. We felt just terrible about it - don't you remember? But, just for a moment now we're all together. Mama, just for a moment we're happy. Let's really look at one another!....I can't. I can't go on. It goes so fast. We don't have time to look at one another. I didn't realize. So all that was going on and we never noticed. Take me back -- up the hill -- to my grave. But first: Wait! One more look. Good-bye , Good-bye world. Good-bye, Grover's Corners....Mama and Papa. Good-bye to clocks ticking....and Mama's sunflowers. And food and coffee. And new ironed dresses and hot baths....and sleeping and waking up. Oh, earth, you are too wonderful for anybody to realize you..." - Emily's monologue in Act 3 from Our Town

Such a final farewell is fitting for an afflicted mind that's fleeting.

I'm done.

inFAMOUS 2 - Video Review

I gave up on completing this game more than a year ago, but I've finally beaten it. Here's a video review from IGN.

Fez Review

Fez is a 2D puzzle game with a 3D perspective. You start out as a character named Gomez. He wakes up in his bedroom and explores the outside platformer world, talking to denizens about how everything is flat and two dimensional. Reaching the top triggers an event: a cube descends from the sky and introduces another dimension. As it turns out, this two-dimensional world is actually in the 3D realm. A few moments after that, the cube explodes into smaller cubes. It is your job to collect as much of the cube as possible to restore the balance of the world.

A screenshot midturn - You have to see the video to see what I'm talking about

Fez plays like a 2D platformer. Navigating your way around the world requires turning the entire screen 90 degrees (top down). It's all about perspective. What appears to be an unreachable platform turns out to be inches closer when turning dimensions. Separate ladders on different platforms turns to a complete ladder in a different angle. The illusion of a complete ladder is completed in 2D.

Other than these puzzle-turning events, there are codes and drawings imprinted on stones and walls. If it weren't for the huge online community following Fez, you would easily dismiss these puzzles. Ciphers, counting, etc. You need a paper and pen to solve these riddles. One particular puzzle is an obvious QR code. With your smartphone, you can scan the QR code to get the code for obtaining a cube or anti-cube piece.

The core game takes a few hours to complete. Finding all collectibles and cube pieces will take more.

I'm done.

Proteus PSN Review – A New Journey

I recently played Proteus for PS3. I didn't think I'd like it because of the graphics. I was wrong.

---

Originally posted on Metro:

Proteus (PS3) - Mystery Island

Another indie classic makes the move from PC to console but is Proteus an interactive experience on the scale of Journey or just a pretentious non-game?

The term ‘non-game’ is not one you hear much nowadays. Very popular a few years ago, especially as a term of abuse, it was applied to everything from Brain Training to Wii Fit, as well as many an indie download. Perhaps some gamers meant for it to imply a general state of worthlessness but it always seemed a perfectly reasonable and non-derogatory description to us. Whatever way you look at it Proteus is not a traditional video game, but it is a fascinating interactive experience nonetheless.

Perhaps the best way to describe Proteus is as Oblivion without the gameplay. And without the attempt at photorealistic graphics. Or indeed the mammoth play length. Proteus uses a much simpler form of procedurally generated visuals, but despite their abstract nature there’s an undeniable beauty to the island world in which you find yourself. A huge sun looms over you like a protective sunflower, bathing light on the fractal geometry that recalls the magic of 8-bit graphics – and yet still allows for a fully explore-able 3D world.

And if there is any goal to Proteus it is exploration. As you emerge from the ocean and into the game world you’re given no backstory or princess to save, and it’s entirely up to you where you go and what significance you choose to apply to the strangely empty buildings and quasi-alien fauna and flora. Do the animals look odd just because of the graphics or are they a hint that Proteus is meant to take place somewhere specifically not of this Earth? Is the nonsense sense of scale, where trees are gigantic but mountains can be climbed in moments, an accident or intentional?

The visuals have a haunting beauty of their own but it’s the music which is the key to the game’s secrets, and the majority of its interactivity. Simply by moving you add to the strange, otherworldy soundtrack but it also changes on its own depending on the time of day, the weather, and the season. Animals and plants make their own sounds – sometimes pleasant, sometimes not – and they in turn react to your presence.

Chasing strange 8-bit butterflies and watching pastel-coloured flowers bloom into life is as action-packed as Proteus gets but, much like Flower and Journey, it’s hugely compelling nevertheless. Soon or later you work out how to advance the seasons, and continuing to do so will bring an end to the game within about an hour.

Proteus (PS3) - the changing of the seasons

There’s still no way to win (or lose) but the short playing time ensures the experience can never outstay its welcome, and when you do play again the randomly-generated landscape will be completely different (almost – the PlayStation 3 version use the time and location to generate its worlds so it is technically possible to see the same place twice).

This seems an odd new feature though as it appears to contradict the game’s deeper themes about the impact of man on the environment and the unavoidable progress of time. And if you resent applying those themes to the real world they seem all the more relevant when you consider how you usually interact with video game worlds.

Proteus’ island may be small and roughly formed compared to other games but because you’re unable to shoot or race anyone you’re given the excuse to simply enjoy the virtual landscape for what it is, and wonder at how it came to be and what it really represents. There are gameplay mechanics in Proteus but its main form of interaction is between its audio and visuals and your imagination.

With Grand Theft Auto V still fresh in everyone’s minds, and the Christmas games rush in full flow, Proteus seems much more relevant now than when originally released on PC earlier this year. But even if you enjoy its enigmatic charms the obvious complaint is that it’s too expensive for such a short experience. You can keep replying on different islands but it has to be admitted that your first time is always the best.

But Journey was short too, and although Proteus doesn’t have quite the accessibility and structure of that game (and Journey definitely was a game) it’s an experience that will stay with you just as long.

In Short: Many will argue as to whether it’s a ‘real’ game or not, but Proteus’ ability to stimulate your imagination and your senses makes it a more satisfyingly interactive experience than many.

Pros: Mesmerising visuals and cleverly interactive soundtrack create a game world unlike any other, hinting at deep secrets – both physical and metaphorical.

Cons: It has very few of the elements that make a traditional video game and a single walkthrough lasts no more than an hour – which makes the high price harder to justify.

---

I'm done.

Relationships

Numerous casual flings, one-time and/or several hook-ups aside, I'm currently not in one. I've only ever experienced mutual admiration once and it was towards the middle of my longest relationship after a rocky start.

People change. What you were before is not who you are now or tomorrow. Multiple times I've surrendered myself for who they were. Though it seem honorable and quite noble, it wasn't the real me.

Love shouldn't be stressful. If it's always like that, it's not love.

Or maybe I'm just not built for that. I quite like my independence now.

... maybe I haven't found that kind of love.

I'm done.

Otakon 2014

Otakon 2014 was different from the previous years I've attended. I booked the hotel in advance back in 4th quarter 2013. I was still undecided on whether I wanted to go. I registered for it in March 2014. They announced the guests and events. I still wasn't feeling it. I was pretty sure this would be my last Otakon. I went into the convention having no expectations. This made it much better than I thought.

Nurse, Pyramid Head and Armless Man, aka Lying Figure (Silent Hill).

I've been attending since 2004. My 2nd cousins asked me during the summer in my first year of college if I wanted to go. They picked me up and we lined up for our tickets. That was the longest I've ever stood in line for Otakon (from 9:40AM to 1:30PM). They used to have 3, 2 and 1-day badges. We only went on that Saturday. It was a surreal experience, for me. Seeing all these fans dressing up and all. It was my introduction into Otaku culture. I've been watching anime since a kid, but this a whole new level of awesome. After a long line, we went to a video room showing Kiddy Grade. Went around the dealers room for a bit before going to my first AMV Contest. A few of the videos I picked actually won (http://www.otakon.com/awards_2004.asp). Also went to my first Otakon Masquerade Contest. They didn't use the First Mariner Arena (now called The Baltimore Arena). Ballroom III-IV was used (4th floor in Baltimore Convention Center). We didn't stay too long and left around 9:30PM. It was fun.

A Minion (Despicable Me) in Captain America (Minion?) Costume

In 2005, I went with friends from college. They used to have group discounts, so that was a plus. My ex helped me with my cosplay attempt as college Gohan (Buu Saga). Not that many people recognized me. Only 2-3 people asked for my picture. I had the right red pants, white sleeve shirt, black vest, spiked hair and the tag in my vest that my ex made for me. It was a tough time for me. Rocky relationship and all. Again, we didn't get to stay too late at night. We picked up our badges on Thursday and attended Friday and Saturday. This was my last Otakon until the next one.

Elsa and Anna (Frozen)

I went to Otakon in 2009 to get my mind off of things. It was my first time doing a serious cosplay as Roy Mustang from Fullmetal Alchemist. I was able to join the Fullmetal Alchemist photoshoots. Sometimes, we get stopped in the hallway to get our photos taken. My co-worker also attended and decided to cosplay Soi-Fong from Bleach. For the heck of it, I made a skit and participated in the Masquerade. Just being able to perform in front of a lot of people was an obstacle I overcame. I probably made a full of myself on stage. I wasn't really that good at dancing, but I made my mark that night. I was congratulated with applause backstage with all the other contestants. I did all this while still having to drive back home at night. I went early on Sunday and sang at Otacafe. It was all worth. It was also my first time experiencing con depression.

The playable character from the game Journey

Otakon 2009 Pictures

I came prepared in 2010. I invited my youngest sister to attend. Got her a Kairi cosplay from Kingdom Hearts. I had two cosplays. Teito Klein from 07-Ghosts and Roy Mustang from the previous year. Everything was all good, but my sister also planned to attend a concert on Saturday. We also had a fire alarm incident at the convention. Everyone was evacuated out of the building. That caused some traffic in the street. My sister, co-worker and I got our pictures taken at the photobooth. My co-worker was gofering that year and the years to come. With the heat and everything, I took my sister home earlier in the afternoon. I decided to head back to the convention to attend my final cosplay photoshoot at the outdoor fountain. At night, I decided to attend the Otakurave, I changed into my extra clothes at my car. I met my former co-worker from Muvico (now Cinemark) inside the dance along with a bunch of other people from college and Pump It Up crew from the mall. They had an after party after the convention so I went to their hotel room. It was a packed room. 20-30 people came in to just hang out, drink and play games. A few people had to watch the hallway and kept shushing everyone so we don't get thrown out of the room. I ended up sleeping in the room for the night. I probably only slept for 2-3 hours tops. I took a shower and went to the convention afterwards. I just went to the dealers room and then went home.

Fionna the Human (Adventure Time)

Otakon 2010 Pictures (Day 1, Day 2)

I booked a hotel room for 2011 and went all out with 3 cosplays (Nyan Cat, Eddie Riggs from Brütal Legend, and Roy Mustang). It was probably the hottest of all the Otakons I've attended. I was also surprised to find my photoshoot picture make it to the Otakon 2011 Handbook. Definitely a highlight for me that year. My hotel is at least 0.7-0.9 miles away from the convention, so the long walk did not help at all. I was drenched in sweat wearing Nyan Cat. After 2-3 hours walking around, I went back to the hotel, took a shower and changed into Eddie Rigg. I was stopped a lot more as Nyan can than Eddie Riggs. Having a hotel to return to after a long con day is much better. I could have worn comfortable shoes, but no because cosplay. I wore Roy Mustang on Saturday. Attended the Q&A panel with Nobuo Uematsu. I'm not sure if this was his first time visiting Otakon, but he had a concert that same day. I didn't have a ticket for the concert, but it would have been nice to hear all the classic songs he created for the games he's involved in (mainly Final Fantasy). I didn't do much during the day on Saturday. I went back to my hotel and took 2-3 hour nap. I also attended the Otakurave on both days. I also found out that a friend online (Emily) was here. I didn't see her, but it was nice knowing she was. Her AMV video won that year. I also played a lot in the game room on Pump It Up.

General Grievous (Star Wars)

Otakon 2011 Pictures, (07-Ghosts Photoshoots)

In Otakon 2012, I originally planned to room with a bunch of people that my friends knew, but they couldn't hold their room. So I was left with finding a group that still needed people to room with. Good thing I found someone in the Otakon boards. That actually saved me money. The hotel is also just across the hotel is also less than a block from the convention, so not too bad. Still, sleeping with 7 other people in one room is not that comfortable. I planned on having two cosplays, but decided to skip one. I think my co-worker finally became Otakon Staff this year. I cosplayed as Ryan Gosling's character from the movie Drive. I finally saw Emily there on Saturday, dressed up as Mokuba. It was nice meeting a Xangan at Otakon. Also played a lot in the game room. They also had a Hunger Games Photoshoot.

Titan Erin, Reiner and Annie (Attack on Titans)

Otakon 2012 Pictures

I tried to check out the Matsuri event on Thursday afternoon. Unfortunately, they had to cancel it due to inclement weather. I cosplayed as Desmond from Assassin's Creed in 2013. It was very last minute, to be honest. I also booked the hotel next to the one I booked in 2011. I actually prefer the nice and quiet. I got the hook up with VIP seating from Emily. Since she submitted a video, she could give a VIP badge to two friends who want to watch the AMVs at the VIP seating. Jason David Frank (The Green Ranger) was one of their guest for this year. This was also Otakon's 20th anniversary as a convention. The game room is continuing it's state in decline, but I still went there to play Pump It Up. Not much I remember from this year. I did take a lot of non-anime photoshoots, though (The Walking Dead, Silent Hill, Assassin's Creed, etc).

Raiden, Gecko Metal Gear, and a member from the Beauty and the Beast Unit (Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriot)

Otakon 2013 Pictures

Then we have this year's Otakon. I went expecting nothing and ended up with one of the better Otakon experiences since the first time I went in 2004. I booked the same hotel from 2011 much earlier than usual. This time, I know where to make the turn and park in the City Center underground parking lot. Their prices were  a lot cheaper this year. Besides the almost 2 hour wait to pick up our registration badge, everything was good. There was no choice for the badge art this year, but they made up for it in ID-grade badges. This was a lot harder to imitate from the badges in previous years. I think they've finally caught on that some people sneak in without paying. It's still a mess, to be honest. I'd rather they mail the badges to all those people who pre-registered. Some people are from out of state and used the extra day on Thursday for badge pick-up. Many people were stuck in line for hours and still didn't get to pick up their badge on Thursday. I'm glad I went there early.

I checked out the Matsuri event near the Science Center. I just missed the Sumo wrestling demonstration, but I saw the band RiCECOOKERS perform. There were also a few food trucks in the area. I didn't stay long and went around Inner Harbor taking pictures. I got a text from Emily, saying she was at an Editor's dinner and didn't know anybody. I decided to check it out. Did not expect a world-class glomping from her. No injuries (almost lol). This the 2nd time since 2004 that I didn't have a cosplay. I didn't get stopped for pictures, so that was a plus. I wore comfortable shoes. I'm used to long distance walks. It wasn't as hot as previous years. All of that made for a nice convention weekend. The game room opened later than last year. When I walked in, they didn't have DDR or Pump It Up. Many people, including me, were expecting those arcade machines. It wasn't a bad thing for me. I got to explore more of the video rooms, photoshoots and movie screenings.

Zombies and characters from Resident Evil Series

I got that VIP treatment again from Emily. The AMV Contest was pretty good this year. I went to the OCRemix panel and the Sailor Moon voice actresses Q&A. My love for everything anime and East Asian culture was slowly returning to me. After a 4-year hiatus, I went to see the Masquerade contest. It was worth it. Afterwards, I went back to my hotel room, freshened up, and went to Otakurave. I was only there for less than an hour. I didn't have to right shoes to shuffle and my finger dancing needed work. On Sunday, I saw the screening for Mai Mai Miracle. I cried a little watching that anime. I also went to the Closing Ceremonies, where they announced the various winners from their events. This was the first time I attended closing ceremonies. Not much going on after that point. People were in the dealers' room and artist alley for last minute purchases. I decided to call it a day. But before that, I stopped by the hotel across from the convention to say goodbye to Emily. It was nice seeing you again.

Bane breaking the Batman

Otakon 2014 Pictures

Otakon brings in lots of people from various walks of life. Some of them like anime. Some of them to dress up in conventions. Some of them only stay in the game room. Some are into the panels and workshops. Others like LARPing. Others only care about the Otakurave. Others enjoy AMVs with a passion. Others take their high-end camera equipment and shoot professional-grade videos and photos. Others are just curious and wanted to see what's the deal with Otakon. There are just too many things to do in Otakon that it's impossible to do them all. The best thing to do is stick with what you enjoy and have a great time. If you like them all just as much, make the most out of it and enjoy. Experience Otakon (or any convention) like this is your first year in attendance. There's always something new. That's probably why I'm still going next year.

I'm done.

Dubstep Solves Everything 3

I was feeling a little down for the past 2 weeks. But no worries. Dubstep Solves Everything.

I'm done.

Facebook Deactivation

I deactivated my Facebook Sunday night. It got to a point where I got fed up with the online company (and I don't mean the website). I started to feel detached with myself and had to put a stop to it.

I'm still available, limitedly, everywhere else. Other than that, I'm nowhere.

To be honest, I don't know what I'm feeling now. It seems I've lost interest in a lot of things. I could feel my writing and thoughts progressively get bitter every week. You wouldn't have read of them here, though.

Worriedly, I lost 10 pounds in just 2 weeks. No exercise. Just didn't have the appetite. I'm still undecided on whether I like being alone and hate social gatherings. I feel lonely at times and want to seek company. Overall, my mind is all over the place.

A constant stream of music, undivided focus on certain games, gaming making and TV shows are the only ones to keep my mind preoccupied before it regresses to unworldly, horrible thoughts.

I'm done.

July 2014 List Post

1. I haven't played on my PS3 in a while since I finished Uncharted 2. I got roped in to watching an RPG Maker VX Ace video on YouTube. It got me all nostalgic about the RPG Maker 2000 game I was working on (on and off) that wen't nowhere from 2002 to 2007. I dusted up all my files and managed to port most of the my project to RPG Maker 2003.

Ever the perfectionist, I spent 3 weeks and got hooked on Maplestory again. I haven't spent a dime on this free-to-play game. This shows incredible restraint on my part. I already reached level 200 on my main character, but they've added 50 more levels, additional quests, game mechanic changes (GUI, character balancing, etc) and new characters. Not much leveling on my part... just overall character improvement.

2. I've had the first two season of The Wire in my harddrive. I got hooked on the first two episodes. I literally "marathoned" the entire series (five seasons) in less than two weeks. If I were to judge and make this show the standard to all shows I'm going to watch, I don't have to watch any other show again. It's that good. I thought Game of Thrones was complex. The Wire takes the cake. They have just as many key characters, if not more, as Game of Thrones and each of them have been exceedingly memorable. I thought the show couldn't do any better after Season 3, but they proved me wrong. Season 4 has the best storyline out of any shows I've seen so far.

It's really hard to describe this show. It's not a police drama like Law and Order. Some have called it Urban Procedural. It has a rich sociology intertwined with the organizational structure of Baltimore's police, politics, drug-trade, middle-class, school system and the media. It portrays a fictional Baltimore dealing with all facets of the organizations and how they affect each other.

Season 1 introduced two major groups of characters: The Baltimore police department and a drug dealing organization run by the Barksdale family. The season follows the investigation of the Barskdale family and the police's wiretap on them (hence the title of the show) and the inner workings of the police department's hierarchy.  They also introduced two mainstay characters:

Omar Little, a stick-up man who robs the drug dealers in Baltimore. He lived by a code to not involve citizens in "the game." Reginald "Bubbles" Cousins, a recovering heroin addict who sidelines as criminal informant for the police.

Season 2 continued the ongoing examination of the drug problem and its effect on the urban poor, but also examines blue-collar urban working class as depicted by the stevedores (dock workers) in the city port. Some of them get caught up in the smuggling of drugs, other contraband and illegal immigrants for prostitution. The subplot in the season is the Barksdale organization continuing its drug trafficking despite their leader's incarceration, with Stringer Bell (second in command) assuming greater power. This was foreshadowed in Season 1 during a "How to play chess" scene. D'Angelo Barksdale (the leader's nephew) explains chess to Bodie and Wallace as a metaphor for drug deals.

Season 3 put the focus back on the Barskdale drug organization, rival Standfield drug organization, and local politicians. It introduced a city councilman wanting change for the city from a corrupt mayor.

Season 4 put the focus on a local school, the mayoral election, police department politics and action on the street corners.  Four middle school African-American boys are introduced to the story. The central drama is whether "the game" of drug dealing will have an affect on these kids and whether they will somehow beat the odds pointing them toward jail and violent death.

Season 5 continued to focus on the police department, the Stanfield drug organization and city hall while introducing a fictionalized version of the Baltimore Sun newsroom. It was an examination of the devaluing of human life and institutional dysfunction.

"The game" is often mentioned throughout the series as a metaphor for all the organizations. The rules change, but the game stays the same.

3. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is one of the best movies to come out this year.

4. I added a TV stand on top of my wide drawer and a small organizer on top of my dresser in my room. I planned on getting an L-corner desk, but I have very little room to set it up. I probably don't need it.

5. Going to eat this naked burrito from Qdoba.

I'm done.

The Worst Thing About the Internet

I remembered when I was a kid when my mom and our nanny were talking about this pamphlet they got from people passing them around outside the grocery store. I was 8 years old at the time (this was 1992) and could barely read in English. I knew enough to read the pamphlet headline: End of the world in 1999. They were talking about Revelations in the Bible. The pamphlet spoke about the wrongly dead coming back to life. It also talked about the good people being taken with the bad ones left behind. I didn't understand this concept as well as a kid, but I remembered thinking this would be like an alien mother ship taking all the good people away from Earth. This gave me a scare for a few weeks. Then, like most kids, I stopped asking questions and moved on. All the adults stopped talking about it, so it gave me a sense of security while still partly scared deep down.

Stories and rumors like these spread around cities through word of mouth, soothsayers and the gullible. Some were famous enough to get radio and TV time. People were particularly gullible and believe everything. Growing up, I look back to it all and found it both silly and alarming. It's silly because adults are embarrassed to be found wrong, especially by a child. It's alarming that people still spread these rumors and just as many wholly believe them.

My aunt had a "dumb" moment one time. My cousins and I were playing at our house. She came running over, screaming for her kids about something happening in the world. She made us turn on the TV and change the channel to HBO (of all the channels). There was a news reporter talking about an invasion. There were people running and in panic in the streets and other damages. It cuts back to the news reporter signing off and ending the broadcast with the static screen. Then the credits rolled in. My cousins were still asking our aunt (their mother) if everything is OK. I was speaking to myself loudly, saying not not to worry about it as this was just a movie made to look like a real event. My aunt was just staring at the screen and answered in single words to our cousins. They left and went home. I'm still amused about the whole encounter. I think my aunt got embarrassed for believing the movie to be real and didn't bother explaining her weird behavior. Her heart was in the right place, but she probably felt betrayed by it all.

Fake stories and rumors are still spread around the world in pretty much the same way. The only difference now is that we have the Internet. For all the advancements and convenience it gave the world, I think the worst thing about the Internet is giving stupidity a voice. Many have called this time period the Information Age. Anything we want to know, we can learn online. It's not immune to misinformation, unfortunately.

It's probably a human defect inherit to all of us. We put too much trust in the written word. We believe what we want to believe. We read with our own voice in our head or imagine how the words are said by the source (implied source, at least). We project our own understanding and interpret them as we see fit.

"So it was written, so it shall be done." Not all the time. Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.

"To say that nothing is true, is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile, and that we must be the shepherds of our own civilization. To say that everything is permitted, is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic."

There are some serious truths in that quote. Do you think this is true? Or do you just want to believe it? Awake yet?

I'm done.

The Broken Window In My Bedroom

About 7-8 years ago, I broke the window near my desk in my bedroom. My youngest sister from high school brought her friends over again. My mom didn't like them at first. They were different from the friends that she used to hangout with in school. Specifically, they were a rowdy crowd. Ever since she started hanging out with them, her grades dropped considerably. Heck, when she had a one-on-one sit down with her social studies teacher on how she can improve her grade for the semester, he told her that she spends too much time socializing with her new friends.

Other than my mom, I didn't like them. They were loud and came over when our parents specifically told my sister they couldn't come over. They were outside in the front of the house, making lots of noise. I reached the boiling point and snapped for a quick moment. That was enough for me to punch and shatter my window. I had the cuts on my knuckles to prove it. Told my mom I lost balance standing on top of my swivel chair fixing my action figure boxes above my desk. I don't think she believed me. Yeah, I have anger issues, which I'm still coping with to this day.

Fixing the window would have been very expensive. I was a freshman (probably sophomore, depending on how many credits I accumulated) and sure as heck didn't have money to fix it. The least best thing I could do was to cover it up. I removed the broken shards that were already loose and detached. I used the black presentation board I used for my science fair project in high school. It was a bang up job, but it did it's intended purpose. At least, I thought it did.

This was the lower window of the single-hung double pane window frame. The outer glass was still intact, so I had no issues with rain water coming in. I didn't know it was a specially insulated window at time. When I broke the glass, it released the gas (most likely Argon gas) between the glass windows for insulation. The insulation prevented moisture from fogging up the glass and lowered the sound levels from the outside. My cardboard cover-up didn't make the noise any dimmer. The black cardboard also absorbed more heat in the summer.

Over the past few years, I've been looking into fixing the broken window. I'm out of college and working. The only problem is that I wasn't really committed into fixing it. I also dealt with my break up. A few weeks ago, I started looking up ways to fix the window or a replacement. I decided on trying to remove the broken glass shards, remove old putty or caulk, apply the new glass fitted for the exact dimensions (which I thought about cutting myself) and seal it with the new caulk. I bought all the materials I thought I had. On the hardware store, I saw a guy carrying plexiglass. I ended up buying that instead of actual glass.

During my attempt at installing the new glass, I learned that the broken shards are wedged too closely in between the window frame. Fixing this was a lot harder than I thought. My mom told me to do more research on installing a new window. That's how I learned about double/triple pane and single/double hung modern windows. I learned about low-E windows (energy efficient windows), a window's R and U values for insulation and how to remove and insert the sashes from the window frame. I looked up pricing on various hardware stores. None of them are selling single-piece replacements. They also don't have the right dimensions. Our house is 16 years old. The exact model for our windows are probably no longer in stock. The more I looked into it, I realized this would have to be a custom job. I'm ill-equipped to do such a thing. I'd need a professional window technician to do the estimate and measurements, determining whether a simple custom insert replacement window would suffice or a full window frame replacement depending on the wooden frame (will it hold or is it rotten?). I didn't want to make it worse than it already is. Time to call it quits.

Since I removed the black cardboard from before, I made use of the white cardboard canvases I used for my LEGO videos. I cut them to the right dimensions, taped it up and stapled on the window. White should bounce off the heat for the summer. Fixing the window requires a full assessment of all the windows in the house. This will have to do.

I'm done.

What Dreams Tell You?

Too many memorable dreams these past few days.

I've killed this person I disliked in college by stabbing him on two separate dreams. On the first dream, before it ended I hooked up with a silhouette of a familiar girl, but can't recognize her. We sneaked out in the middle of the night and talked and kissed in a jeep.

The second dream was very videogame-like. Yes, I killed and stabbed that guy from college. Then there was a party or parade of some sort and I recognized my best friend from school whom I haven't talked to or seen since 2005. I raised my hand and he sort of recognized me. He's in a metal band and changed his name to Santa (Lucia/Guias) Cruz. It explains why I couldn't find or get a hold of him (It's weird that I vividly remember that name that when I woke up I searched what I remembered on Google).

Just had another dream earlier where I have powers and I was about to move in with this girl I like (who is a mixture of someone very familiar and my co-worker from my last job). Weirdly enough, I ended up being house mates with my former co-worker and her husband, who owned the place and let me live with this girl I like. For some reason another girl appears in the picture and I'm also involved with her. The whole thing is awkward because this girl knows everybody else, yet I already proposed to marry the girl I like. The dream kind of got confused and it appears I promised myself to both of them. I haven't been in this much drama since college and been in a tug-of-war/having to choose/being fought over situation since 6th grade.

So what do these dreams all mean? I don't know. But all these dreams just made me realize something...

... I feel lonely.

I'm done.

Something Lost

I was catching up with a friend who I haven't spoken to in a while online. I don't go on AIM as much as I used to, but it was a nice chat overall. It was the usual small talk. We asked about what we've been up to. We both have similar answers: Work and sleep. We talked about other things, but our brief conversation about work life got me thinking about my current state of mind.

I've blogged about my current job a few times here, specifically its unstable nature (the possibility of my client company not to renew my work contract). I thought I've hit the jackpot with my first job after college. I lasted 2 years with the company. Granted I only worked with one of their client companies for approximately 20 months (1 month of training prior and 3 months on work bench before they let me go). I got the next job 2 months after unemployment. I wished for that job to be as good as it gets, but deep down, I knew it wouldn't last long. The 3rd job was the worst. It was the only job that I knew on the first day I made a bad choice. Worst company ever. I held on and stayed for as long as I could until I got fed up and quit. Then I got my current job.

I was scouring the Internet for IT specialist positions and other computer jobs in my area, sending my updated resume for job postings for 4 months. There were 2 job fairs that I attended that day. I managed to part ways with a few of my printed resumes on the first one. The second one was a bust. That's when I got a call from a recruiter. I was already fielding another recruiter that week, but it's always nice to have more than one. There were 2 separate phone interviews held for my current job. The second interview was more technical. I got a little frustrated when I couldn't answer some of the questions which I knew, but don't recall the correct terminology. I felt that they were going to cut off my interview short. So I kind of blew off on the interviewers. I told them that I've always been stuck, thrown in the fire on my last 3 jobs, not knowing what to do. I managed to come out on top and figure everything. I already called it a miss. I got an offer 2 days later on the Friday before Thanksgiving. They called me in the afternoon, so they gave me until Monday to decide.

Another job I interviewed for was still deciding on whether to hire me. I used my job offer to the other recruiter as a leverage to get an answer from the other company. I had to choose between commuting distance, security and salary. It was a no-brainer. The other job position was 25 minutes away from home, but they haven't given me an offer. So I drove 2.5-3.5 hours to work every day. After working there for a year, I made an arrangement to work from home for 3 days and 2 days at the office. I still would go to the office when I'm needed. I've got the handle on most things for all the applications that our team supports. I've proven myself to work independently and ask questions. There's still that very possibility of my contract ending at a short time's notice. Yet, I've never felt remarkably at ease and exceedingly in my element. That said, I'll have to apologize for the next paragraph.

Life is now just a bunch of chores. I wake up feeling groggy. Exercise. I drive to work or log on to my work laptop from home. Eat meals. Watch TV. Browse online. Social media. Videogames. Sleep. I do these routines in random fashion. Some I don't even do that day. The weekends have been as mundane as ever. These past year, my weekends have been "me time" for the most part. I don't hang out with friends as much as I used to. I certainly don't go out of my way to go to group events and such. It's too boring, but I'm not complaining.

Just a few years prior, I wanted to do something new whenever I can. I don't have the same drive or feeling. Not sure what I'm feeling these days. It's a fine line between contentment and emptiness. This usually leads to me having very deep and existential thoughts right before I go to sleep. Then I wake up and forget about it. I feel like a completely different person. The "me" 5 years ago is strangely foreign and unrecognizable.

Usually, I end my posts with an afterthought where I come to an understanding with all the points I brought up while writing. This time, I don't have an answer. I guess you could say this is just as much of an afterthought, but it's not the same. Something is lost. What "it" was that I had 5 years ago, I want "it" back.

I'm done.

What is the "friend zone?"

I was going to write a big portion of this as a response to another post on Facebook who brought up "friend zone," but I felt it would just fall on deaf ears from single-minded, militant characters.

Can we agree that the act we refer to as "friend zoning" (or whatever you wanna call it) is something that both men/women can do to people who like them whom they don't want to have an intimate relationship or to date?

It's a term ("friend zoned" - a verb) born out of pop culture that puts the focus on the person who does not return the affection. The intended characterization of this act is that you're not really friends, with sarcastic intonation (a heavy dose of double air quotes for emphasis). I can't stress enough the fact that when this was made popular in the show Friends, "friend zone" wasn't an act. It wasn't a verb. It was a metaphorical place inhabited by it's tall geeky mayor, Ross. Rachel really had no idea about Ross' feelings towards her. The only way for Ross to get out of the "friend zone" is to ask her out or he'll be stuck there forever.

Just laying the ground work, inching just a little bit closer to priesthood.

They also used the term in Scrubs. Elliot and J.D. start flirting as if on a date. She acts like she wanted to kiss J.D., and he's confused on whether she was joking or if he should really kiss her. He leans in for the kiss before being interrupted by Dr. Cox, breaking the mood. This puts J.D. under pressure because he only has 48 hours before they both start over-thinking things, Elliot getting invested in the idea of him as a friend, and him getting stuck in the "friend zone."

It's the packaged term for "unrequited love," the other term that puts the focus on the person who can't accept only friendship. Over the years, people have dropped the sarcasm and started using it as an ACTUAL thing, over-analyzed the playful term and put too much meaning behind it.

At the end of the day, it should boil down to these:

1. If people are really genuine about just wanting to be friends with someone who likes them, "friend zone" (modern terminology) doesn't really apply. It's the literal friendship.
2. If you don't want to date them because they are not your type (too ugly, too fat, too skinny, too deformed, eyebrows, etc) and don't care about being friends with them, it's still not "friend zoning." That's just preference.
3. If you're doing #2 and lying about what you really feel ("You're a nice guy/girl, but...") because you don't want to directly reject them and hurt their feelings for various rational/irrational reasons (which are valid for self preservation), such as fear of these people retaliating in some way or spreading true/false rumors about you, it's still just preference, but that's also the "friend zoning" act.

In the right (or wrong?) context, "friend zone" is a misogynistic term. The fact that it usually comes up from guys describing the act done to them by girls is bad enough. It's completely lost its original intended meaning. I just think it's a presumptuous term from the forlorn individual. I don't really agree with the men's rights activist and feminist angles on "friend zone." The term exists, whether we like it or not and both men and women do it to people they have no attraction to. I know, because I did it. The term is also used as an excuse to make yourself feel better about rejection, be it real, perceived or assumed. Since you have no clear evidence for #3,  your deduction of being placed in the "friend zone" is just fantasy.

We can't read people's minds. Objectively, people really care about what others think of them despite what they say to the contrary. They also fear for what people might do in face of rejection, more often projecting what they themselves would do in that situation. So they lie about the real reasons when asked ("Why don't you like me?"). Reiterating my point, since people also fear rejection, they would rather hear a lie than the actual truth.

• "You were not fired, you were let go." Correct.
• "It's not you, it's me." Correct (but could also be bullshit)
• "You're a nice guy/girl, but you're not my type." Also correct, but risky.
• "I just want us to be friends." Correct (whether you really want to be friends or just letting them down easy), but some people are stupid and think they still have a shot ("unrequited love"). Might as well sever it with...
• "I don't feel the same way about you. And I can't be friends with you if you feel that way about me. I just can't keep pretending like nothing has changed."

Brutal, but honest. You'll lose a friend. If you still care about what that person thinks of you, the focus is back on you. Grow up. You can't get 'em all. Write a blog post about it. It well help you sleep better. As far as our current understanding of the term is concerned, you put them in the "friend zone."

If you're in the "friend zone," it's not that bad. Maybe you are not meant to be together with this person. Maybe you'll end up being BFFs and whatnot. Maybe you'll end up imprinting on their kid and be their protector/savior/lover when they age faster than normal humans. Maybe you still harbor feelings for this person and still think you could end up together. Who knows. It could happen, but the focus is back on you.

I'm done.

Ni No Kuni and Coping With Depression

I was planning on writing a game review for Ni No Kuni, but this IGN article perfectly sums up what I feel about this game.

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Why Ollie has a lot more to offer than most JRPG protagonists.

Poor little Ollie isn’t your typical JRPG hero. He doesn’t have spiky hair or carry a sword that’s bigger than he is. He doesn’t brood in the way popularised to stereotype by Cloud or Kaim, nor is he at the opposite end of the spectrum with the relentless and irksome positivity of Serah. He’s not an amnesiac or an elite warrior; he is simply a normal young boy who, because of certain events, wants to do good things for those in need around him.

Oliver’s desire to do right has come at a cost, though. At fault for his mother’s untimely death, he is obviously and understandably distraught, spiralling into three days of wallowing and self-pity. Eventually his tears spring a surprise, breathing life into his cherished cuddly toy who reveals himself as Drippy, a noble fairy from the realm of Ni No Kuni.

Drippy explains that Ni No Kuni is in desperate trouble, the victim of a terror known as Shadar. He requires Oliver, one of pure heart, to help him save his world. Ollie is initially uncertain, but when offered the slightest hope that his aid may save his mother, it’s then he agrees to go on the uncertain journey.

Ollie wants more than anything to return to his old life.

Although it can be easily lost in the game’s innocent and charming setup, what Ollie is doing is blocking out reality in favour of a fantasy world, one that’s a more attractive proposition than his own. In Ollie’s case, what’s particularly interesting is that his fantasy world not only absolves him of any culpability relating to his mother’s death (as Drippy explains to him, it was Shadar’s fault, after all), but it’s also a world in which he believes he can actually save her from death.

Simply put, he has control of his life and a purpose in Ni No Kuni. Without Ni No Kuni, he has nothing; he is alone.

It’s a scenario that’s seems so sad, yet this form of escapism is something that I can absolutely relate to through my own past experiences with depression. I won’t bore you with the finer details, but every time I put a disc in my console throughout my twenties, I was doing exactly what Ollie was; escaping to a place where my problems couldn’t hurt me.

Bad day at work? Rapture offered the intrigue to make me forget. Didn’t feel capable of going outside and facing the world? I delved into the Capital Wasteland instead… or the Ishimura… or Liberty City… or Hyrule... anywhere I could escape my brain. These were all worlds in which I felt I had more control than the real one and they were a massive comfort to me at the worst of times. Game worlds were always my go-to release from the bad times, just as they’re the chosen release of countless others like me.

Like many of those who turn to games as an escape, though, Ollie’s never actually free of his guilt or of his relationship with the real world. The faces he knows from his quaint hometown appear regularly in Ni No Kuni as very different characters (a factor described by Drippy as linked souls), and in a handful of instances, his sadness still gets the better of him externally. Even Drippy is a gift from his mother, his accent and mannerisms all come from her interactions with Ollie.

If you're going to escape to a fantasy world, you could do a whole lot worse...

Despite this, Ollie manages to forget his loss through his escapism, or at least comes to terms with it for a while. In between the reminders, his mourning is replaced by a resolve to help everyone he meets. It might be that he feels that in some way, by doing good in either world, he’s making amends for the events that led to his mother’s demise (at least making progress towards that goal). I like to think, however, that he simply understands. He understands their pain because of his loss and wants to help it stop. Helping people becomes his new coping mechanism in spite of his goal to save his mother, and he revels in it.

In most cases in gameplay, this process simply means locating someone struggling to find the very elements of a person that real-life depression can cripple, such as enthusiasm, courage or kindness, borrowing a sliver from someone who has too much and topping up the sufferer’s heart. The message is simple but effective, and plainly clear from the first moment you undertake this little chain of events. It gets a little more tactile the further you delve, though…

A bit later into the game and Ollie is trying to gain the help of a once great sage. The sage, Rasheed, initially refuses, too worried about his daughter shutting herself off from her loved ones. Ollie travels back to the real world to locate her linked soul, only to find Myrtle, a reclusive young girl who believes she is too sick to leave the confines of her bedroom. Using his magic to break into her house and speak to her, Ollie can sense from her a real fear of her father. A neighbour will shortly confirm your suspicion. Her father, Rusty, has become abusive to both her and his wife.

Myrtle's soul mate Esther joins Ollie on his adventure. It's a soul thing.

After hotfooting it to the father’s garage, Ollie witnesses the abuse first hand. As Rusty works frantically on a car, his wife lovingly brings him a meal, which he hits out of her hands aggressively. Ollie is the only one in the town not to turn a blind eye and confronts the angry father.

It turns out that the man isn’t merely broken-hearted like many others you’ve already helped at this early stage, but a demon labelled as a “Nightmare” has also attached itself to his heart, controlling him, causing him to become a monster terrorising his own family. Ollie must battle the Nightmare to save the man.

In this sense, he literally helps Rusty fight his demons.

This realisation of what the game was tackling hit me like a ton of bricks at this point. As with real depression (and other ailments which can be related, like alcohol or drug addiction, which is my interpretation of how Rusty’s broken heart evolved), you can’t always find the answers yourself; often sufferers require a push from someone, even anyone, to seek the help that is really closer than they realise. For this man, Ollie was the catalyst for his recovery as he was brave enough to speak up, just as my own friends were for me.

I love it when video games can manage to connect at an unexpectedly emotional level, and in Ni No Kuni’s case, I certainly wasn’t expecting it to resonate with me this much prior to starting. Indeed, many reviews hint that it hits all the right emotional high-notes through excellent writing, pacing and character growth, yet it’s the game’s indirect commentary on coping with depression that managed to strike a particular chord. These are just a handful of early examples too; the mending of broken hearts remains a constant theme throughout.

At the centre of it all is the bond that I felt with Ollie in particular, a young man that I had initially thought I’d dislike, but instead grew to look up to and admire. We shared something in common, he and I, and although my own depression wasn’t related to a loss, I fully understood him in his strongest and weakest moments. I found common ground in the ways in which we both chose to cope with our own sadness, our acceptance, and our recovery.

It hits me now that, despite dealing with the morose subjects of loss and depression, Level 5 and Studio Ghibli have avoided the tired genre tropes of the internally angry, disengaged loner and created a protagonist that deals with his anguish in far more human and relatable ways. Because of this, Ni No Kuni might well be one of the most important and relevant JRPGs in more than a decade.

Original article written by Andy Corrigan at IGN.com - Ni No Kuni and Coping With Depression - IGN