On my first day as a college freshman, I didn't know where to go in between classes. I stayed at the library and/or waited for my next class outside the lecture halls or classrooms. I only knew a few people from high school that are on campus. Only two of that I knew I had classes with. It wasn't until the next day that I went to the Commons building.
The Commons is where the main cafeteria is for non dorming students. A place to hangout, restaurant, the school bookstore, various facilities and the game room. They have pool and ping pong tables. On one side are TVs and couches, where students could bring their gaming systems, plug it in and start playing. It was during this time when I met friends from the gaming crowd. Everyone was very welcoming. We were all very passionate about games. A year and a half after that, I met my ex.
It was during this time when I started hanging out with her friends. They pretty much kept away for themselves. Eventually, they moved out of the gaming room to hang out in this quiet corner in the study room in the Commons. The game room was getting noisy with all the new TVs. For the rest of my college years, I stayed and hung out with my ex's friends, only occasionally popping up in the game room to hang out. Looking back, it was a dampening experience.
As I previously mentioned, my ex's group mostly kept to themselves. That's because they knew each other before college. They were cousins, siblings, family friends, friends of daughter/son-in-laws, etc. Everyone was interconnected. They also knew (allegedly) everyone's stories through gossips and back-biting (this would be an appropriate time to do a "hashtag-cliques").
I'm not saying that my gamer friends didn't have gossip. They did, but not as bad as my ex's friends. Old habits die hard. If the adults in the families do it, so will their children. It was gossip city. I really didn't agree with most of these. I stayed for my ex. When we broke up, all her friends took her side. It's not right, but I don't blame them. They grew up like that.
For the past few years since the break up, I've kept myself away from close friendships. The closest friendships I have now are my online friends from social networking, some of whom I've met in person. I have a few friends that I hangout occasionally from the mall, but I don't really consider it as a close friendship.
One of the first few friends I met in college is moving to Florida soon. he invited me to a going away party last night along with other people I knew in college, comprising the gaming group. It was nice seeing familiar faces, catching up. We talked about what we're doing now. I learned one of our friends in the group now works for ZeniMax Online and is one of the lead gameplay designers for the upcoming Elder Scrolls Online. Eventually, that led to discussion about bad movies, TV shows, upcoming movies, gaming and reminiscing past gaming events both funny and memorable. I haven't laughed like that in a while.
As I was leaving the party, I started to feel guilty. It's an irrational feeling. It sort of felt like I abandoned them by not hanging out with the group on the last few years of college... but not really. To reminisce for a few hours like not much has changed, was a nice feeling. I felt welcomed. I don't feel the same way when I cross paths with my ex's friends.
The last time I met my ex's friends was in the mall last year. I didn't know they were watching the same movie I did. After the movie, we talked for a few minutes and went our separate ways. I walked around the mall, played a few gaming rounds at Dave n Buster and proceeded to head home. On my way to my car, I saw them again eating at a table inside the mall at Buffalo Wild Wings. I thought I'd walk by and say high. As soon as I get there, Kevin, my ex's best friend's younger brother mutters "so creepy. like he's stalking us" as if I didn't hear that. And that is why I don't really hang out with them.
I'm done.
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