Showing posts with label sad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sad. Show all posts

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Long Recursive Dream

I don't know if it was the leg and two thighs of chicken with western fries dipped in jalapeño melted cheese last night or me waking up early-ish (8:45AM) to take my laundry out of the dryer and going back to sleep again. I just had this long recursive dream.


Like most dreams, everything is just jumbled together. I know I was part of the world of Game of Thrones. At the same time, my family was there in this run-down, open-ceiling dilapidated castle/building. The show and dream life were one and the same, apparently. I knew in the dream that I watch the show and that one of my siblings knows the story. My other sister and my parents don't watch the show, but I felt in my dream that I've been telling them to read or watch it. My mom is somewhat in the know of certain events. For some reason there were dragons in the area: one small dragon the size of a cow and one larger dragon the size of a bus. Ned Stark was also there and I told my mom that she should know him as the the guy who was beheaded. There's one key difference in my dream, though. Ned Stark didn't die in the show because he was too popular. Instead, they made him live longer until that dream. My dream was the setting for when Ned Stark dies.

There was another man that shows up and brought with him an even larger dragon camouflaged in clearing inside the building. Ned Stark just found out about the Red Wedding. I was on top of the bus-sized dragon and about to fly away. Then I noticed parts of the building shifting in color from run-down gray to blue and yellow-ish tints. Turns out it was a much larger dragon, 5 times larger than my bus-sized one. I hopped off and they fought.  My tiny dragon was cut into pieces. The small chunks that fell to the ground started moving to each other and regrouped into a much larger dragon. Apparently these dragons in my dream can't be killed. I don't remember much about what happened in this part of my dream, but Ned Stark was killed. Then I woke up (another dream). My other sister said that our parents planned this vacation the whole time. I didn't know what she was talking about. We were on this bus heading to a community church.

During mass, the priest went to the back to get changed or whatever. My parents moved much closer to the center and I reluctantly followed with them. The priest comes back out and somehow forgot to close his robe and accidentally exposed himself. He realizes and walks quickly to the back to fix it. He comes back out with a head gear to help him breathe. Turns out he was sick. I remember thinking it was cancer. It was too late. Most of the crowd already left. He keels over and hides in the back with other people. You could hear the priest coughing and continuing mass. Then I hear commotion outside.

There was another group coming in and just stood there on the side. For some reason they were familiar high school classmates. Of the two people I recognized was my best friend (I haven't seen this guy for 8 years and he shows up in my dream). We hugged it out, but he seemed distant. He changed. He left his former life and have done some crazy stuff. He then tells me that he owes people money. Not sure how in control I was in my dream, but I said my goodbyes and walked away. The bus already left along with my family. I grabbed my stuff and went inside the next bus for some reason. I sat down and put on my underwear on top of my jeans. I realized the mistake and took it off. Turns out I was already boxers. And the bus was actually another priests' car. I asked if he was going to follow the other bus cause my family was there. He said he was going somewhere else to gamble. I told him to drop me off. It was night time and I didn't know which part of town I was. I vaguely remember the buildings and it looked like a section of the street in the Philippines. I was pretty sure at this point that I was dreaming. I just went along. I planned on walking back to my grandparents house 3 miles away. Then I woke up again to another dream which I can't recall anymore by the time of this writing. Then I finally woke up feeling sad.

At this point, I'm living an uneventful, lonely life... where dreams are better, clinging to my past, wishing I have close friends and things haven't changed.

This is 30. Am I still dreaming?

I'm done.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Instructions not INCLUDED

There's something about off-beat, non-mainstream movies that draws you in. Movie theaters nowadays are saturated with superhero films, stoner flicks and bestselling-book adaptations. It's not about the human element anymore. It's mostly special effects and which famous actor is in it.

I decided on seeing Instructions not INCLUDED for lack of any other movie out. There's also the fact that non-mainstream movies don't attract obnoxious moviegoers who constantly have their phones illuminating the the dark or talk during the movie. Prior to watching, I viewed the trailer on YouTube. The story drew me in:

Valentín is Acapulco's resident playboy, until a former fling leaves a baby on his doorstep and takes off without a trace. Leaving Mexico for Los Angeles to find the baby's mother, Valentín ends up finding a new home for himself and his newfound daughter, Maggie. An unlikely father figure, Valentín raises Maggie for six years, while also establishing himself as one of Hollywood's top stuntmen to pay the bills, with Maggie acting as his on-set coach. As Valentín raises Maggie, she forces him to grow up too. But their unique and offbeat family is threatened when Maggie's birth mother shows up out of the blue, and Valentín realizes he's in danger of losing his daughter - and his best friend.~source

It's a Spanish/English movie. It's part comedy, part drama. There's really nothing much I can say without spoiling the movie other than YOU SHOULD WATCH IT!!! I don't follow Mexican cinema, so I didn't know who the actors and actresses were. That makes this movie even better. No expectations. Pure wonderment.

I've never laughed and cried so much in a movie since Bridge to Terabithia (though there was no reason to laugh in that movie... just cry). I'm planning on watching the movie again with my parents (if they have time) and my sister (if they have time). This could go down as one of the most underrated films this year.



I'm done.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Why?

After all this time... why?

I haven't heard from her since she blocked/removed me from facebook. I thought I was doing great. And yet, when she comments on our friend's status or wall (even though I don't see her profile picture or info, I can still see her name) my heart skips a beat and it feels like I'm dying a little inside.

I've broken my small toe. Sprained my ankles multiple times without going to the doctor. Fell from a tree when a branch broke. Jumped from a moving vehicle and scraped myself silly rolling 20+ feet on the hot asphalt downhill. I shrugged them off even when blood was dripping from my wounds. Then why do I feel so weak when it involves her? She was my source of power and courage. My sunlight. Why now does she have to be my weakness...my Kryptonite?

I'm trying not to run out of options to staying calm and be peace-minded. Talking about it here is just not cutting it anymore.

I need to get out of this...

I'm done.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Why Declining An Open Relationship Was the Best Decision I Ever Made?

In 3-4 days, it will be 6 months since my ex and I broke up. To be honest, I already knew it would happen eventually and noticed all the subtle and non-subtle hints a few months before that. I kept telling myself I would be okay. She would blame her parents, her work and her grad-school online classes for being too busy. Her nagging parents didn't stop her from going out with me in the first place, so why having more reasons trying to spend a lot more time away with me when we would only see each other once a day in the weekend? I understand her predicament. As a best friend, I support her for everything. As a boyfriend, it tended to get lonely.