TL;DR Movie Reviews for Winter, Spring, Summer, Some of Fall 2013

1. Hansel & Gretel - A good start for a potentially-new franchise when you cross a Grimms' fairy tale with Steampunk and dark comedy.
2. Warm Bodies - Definitely a better love story than Twilight.
3. Identity Theft - Jason Bateman in another supporting role with NOT Will Smith (ahem *Hancock*) as the lead role.
4. A Good Day to Die Hard (Die Hard 5) - It's like the "Ernie Goes To" series, except it's Bruce Willis as John McClane and he goes to Russia. Instead of hilarity ensuing, it's killing and blowing stuff up.
5. Oz: The Great and Powerful - A prequel to the Wizard of Oz with James Franco and a talking monkey.
6. The Croods - The Flinstones 3D.
7. Oblivion - Tom Cruise Promoting Scientology Part 4? 5?
8. Iron Man 3 - Marvel milk's franchise... news at 11.
9. The Great Gatsby - Leonardo DiCaprio continues being the most underrated actor ever.
10. Star Trek: Into Darkness - Benedict Cumberbatch, Klingons, Time-travelling old Spock and more lens flares.
11. Fast & Furious 6 - It's no longer about living life a quarter mile at a time. Heck, they got a tank.
12. The Hangover III - It stopped being a comedy and turned into a real kidnapping/hostage movie.
13. Now You See Me - It's like The Avengers, except with magicians... and Morgan Freeman.
14. The Internship - A great movie about Google back in 2005. A tamer version of Wedding Crashers... also in 2005.
15. Man of Steel - If Superman was done the right way with Dragonball Z fighting and the Chris Nolan/David Snyder moral-dilemma treatment.
16. This Is the End - Actually a very funny well-written comedy movie.
17. World War Z - jump-starting the shuffling/dragging vs running zombies once again.
18. Despicable Me 2 - More cuteness overload with the Minions.
19. Pacific Rim - A giant mech/robot/monster movie done well. Looks like a new franchise is born.
20. The Conjuring - You will shit your pants and have the hair on your arms standing up.
21. The Wolverine - If Wolverine was given the Christopher Nolan down-to-earth treatment and lost his powers. That's how boring this movie was. The only saving grace is the teaser for next year's X-Men movie, uniting the cast of First Class and who would come back from The Last Stand.
22. Elysium - from the director that brought you District 9. Stars MAAAAATT DAAAAAMON!!! And Jodie Foster.
23. Jobs - Ashton Kutcher has portrayed Steve Jobs pretty well. Could have used slightly better writing, though.
24. Instructions not INCLUDED - Tear jerker of a comedy drama.
25. Insidious 2 - Bigger budget and scarier than the first.
26. Gravity - Who would have thought that two people floating in space would be so intense and thought provoking?

I'm done.