Movies I've Seen This Year (2016)

Here are all the movies I've seen this year.

• January 2016
  
  • Boruto: The Movie (2015) - This is the last Naruto movie after the series ended in the manga. It takes place in the future with Naruto, now as Hokage, and his son is trying to gain his affection. I'm kind of glad that they will have a new series after this.
  • The Hundred-Foot Journey (2014) -  A young aspiring chef and his Indian family living in London moves to France for a fresh start, opens a restaurant 1oo feet away from an established Michelin 1-Star French cuisine restaurant owned by Helen Mirren's character. It's a movie that makes you think if this is what happens behind the scenes in various Food Network personalities.
  • Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) - I held off on watching this movie. It's not a remake of the original Mad Max. It's a new adventure with out of this world characters, in a world where water is scarce.
  • Kung Fu Panda 3 - They said this is the last Kung Fu Panda movie. I recommend it
• February 2016
  
  • Deadpool - The surprise hit that made Fox and Warner Bros. reevaluate how they adapt comic book movies for the big screen. Deadpool is about a mercenary who is diagnosed with terminal cancer and undergoes a secret procedure from some shady people who just wanted to experiment on him to see if injecting Wolverine's blood and stress testing his body will awaken any powers... and it did, but his whole body is badly scarred.
    
    Note: Deadpool is a mutate. Not a mutant. Mutants are born with their powers. Mutates gain their power through genetic manipulation. Other Mutates in the Marvel universe is Captain America and the Hulk.
• March 2016
  
  • Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice - The fans are split with this movie, but I like it. The premise is that Bruce Wayne (Batman) was on Metropolis when Superman fought General Zod. Many buildings were toppled, including Bruce Wayne's building and killed many people. That's why Batman doesn't trust Superman. Lex Luthor knows this and basically eggs them on for this fight. Also, Wonder Woman shows up... and The Flash, Aquaman, Cyborg in surveillance videos.
• April 2016
  
  • The Jungle Book - I went to see this live adaptation of the Jungle Book with no expectations. That made this movie much better. They captured the Jungle Book story. There's probably a sequel in the works.
  • Terminator: Genisys (2015) - The 3rd reboot for the franchise after Terminator: Salvation and Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. The premise is that in the future, Kyle Reese was sent by John Connor to save Sarah Conor, during his send off, something went wrong and he ends up in an alternate timeline of the past where Sarah Connor knows about the Terminators because she was saved by a T-800 (Arnold Schwartzenegger) when she was 9 years old from a T-1000.
• May 2016
  
  • Selma (2014) - Great movie. Sad at the same time. It's one of those movies where you want to look away from the screen from the brutality shown, but you have to push through because that is what really happened.
  • Captain America: Civil War - This 3rd movie in the Captain America franchise is loosely based on the Civil War story in Marvel comics. In the comics, a reality-TV show about superpowered people ends up destroying an entire neighborhood, killing many people. This prompts the government to create a Superhuman Registration Act to have superpowered individuals register their names and report their powers to the government. Captain America was against this. Iron Man supports it. Almost every Marvel super powered characters (except the X-Men) fought including villains.
    
    In this movie, the premise is sort of the same: because of the devastation caused by the Avengers, the government intervened to create the Sokovia Accords (basically the registration Act). Captain America is against it. Iron Man is for it. All of the current members of the Avengers fought. All 9 of them + Spider-Man and Ant-Man. It was more friends having a disagreement than anything.
  • The Intern (2015) - Robert DeNiro becomes an intern for Anne Hathaway's company. Robert DeNiro drops life lessons for the overworked Anne Hathaway. I think it's a feel good movie. No real villains.
  • X-Men: Apocalypse - Another movie that's loosely based on the comics that it was based on. The comics was pivotal for many kids my age who read them at the time because no other crossover storyline could ever top it. My friend stopped reading comics after it. Apocalypse is such a powerful character and a force to be reckoned with in the comics. The movie version? Not so much.
  • The Gambler (2014) - Mark Wahlberg is a gambling addict. Wrongs the wrong people. Must atone for them.
  • The D Train (2015) - Jack Black, as the head of high school graduating class' alumni committee, invites their prom king. He ends up being obsessed with him. Hilarity ensues.
• June 2016
  
  • Now You See Me 2 - This sequel tried to outdo the original movie about 4 people (illusionists, hypnotists, cards manipulator, escape artist) who became the 4 horsemen of magicians. It succeeded in all respects, but it felt like a drag (slow start with everything happening towards the end)
  • Warcraft - Based on the game franchise. It tells the story of when Humans and Orcs first met and why they are fighting with each other.
  • The Conjuring 2 - Scary movie. This time it looks like a nun.
  • Spy (2015) - Melissa McCarthy is a B-grade spy doing a top-rank assignment. It's actually better than her last few movies.
• July 2016
  
  • Zootopia - Anthropomorphic animals (mainly mammals) live along side each other until some animals started going feral. It's up to a fox and a bunny to find out why.
  • The Good Dinosaur (2015) - I missed watching this movie the first time around. Dinosaurs were not wiped out by a meteor. They lived on to become farmers and herders. Humans are critters.
  • Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials (2015) - In this sequel, the characters are out of the maze and now they know more of the world out there.
    
    I think the dystopian teen science fiction novels are losing steam at this point. There's one more movie after this one, which is indefinitely on hold (tentative release date of 2018).
  • Ip Man (2008) - It's the story of Bruce Lee's mentor and how he overcame the Japanese occupation during World War II.
  • Adoration (2013) - This movie was weird. Two childhood best friends grow up as friends. They end up sleeping with each others' adult sons.
  • Star Trek: Beyond - This is the best Star Trek movie to date. It was a great movie overall even without the Star Trek name.
  • Jason Bourne - Matt Damon is back as Jason Bourne and the government is after him again because he holds secrets about his past and the government that they don't want exposed.
  • Project Almanac (2015) - Teen discovers how to time travel using his dad's research found in the attic.
• August 2016
  
  • Sleeping With Other People (2015) - A Jason Sudeikis and Alison Brie rom com. What more could you possibly want?
  • Suicide Squad - A jumbled mess of a comic book movie. The only reason this really did well is because they had Will Smith and advertised the hell out of the new version of The Joker and sneaking in Ben Affleck's Batman in several scenes of the movie.
  • Dragon Blade (2015) - A Jackie Chan movie set in the past. He protects the princess and ends up uniting warring tribes.
  • The Boy and the Best (2015) - If you like Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, and Summer Wars, you'll like this movie about a boy who gets lost and ends up in the Spirit realm and befriends a beast who trains him.
  • Addicted (2014) - Woman is a sex addict. She cheats on her husband with two different people. They find out. Fight ensues. She gets into an accident. Goes to rehab. Atones. Redemption.
• September 2016
  
  • The Lifeguard (2013) - Kristen Bell is a 30-something living in NY who moves back to her home after breaking up with her boss. She is reaquainted with her high school friends. She also meets a new friend who is in high school and ends up sleeping with them. Overall, the movie is more on self-indulgence and drowning in self-pity. I think many in my generation (younger than me) can relate, I guess.
  • Daddy's Home (2015) - Will Ferrell is the stepfather and he meets the kids' birth father, Mark Wahlberg. They fight for their affection and affirmation.
  • Trainwreck (2015) - I don't remember how this movie ended. I was sleepy.
  • Sisters (2015) - Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are sisters and their parents left them their old home for house sitting. It's a comedy.
• October 2016
  
  • The Water Diviner (2014) - Russel Crowe is a water diviner looking for his son in Turkey. He befriends mother and his kid. He finds his son. Goes back to the mother and they hint that she is into him.
  • Definitely, Maybe (2008) - I didn't see this movie the first time around. Ryan Reynolds is getting a divorce. He tells the story to his daughter of how he met her mother, but he winds up telling her all the women he's met. His daughter figures out who her mother is and they are still getting a divorce. All she wants is for his dad to be happy.
  • Swimfan (2002) - If you're wondering why I have all these random movies from different years in the past, I have the premium channels package on Verizon and when I'm bored I end up watching a movie like Swimfan, which is kind of like the remake of The Fan with Robert DeNiro, except the fan in this movie is a girl.
  • The Forest - It's based on the suicide forest in Japan (Aokigahara) where many people go to kill themselves (54 in 2010). In the movie, a woman goes to Japan in search of her twin sister who disappeared and was last seen entering the forest.
  • Gods of Egypt - Read my take here
  • Inferno - Based on the Dan Brown novel, Robert Langdon wakes up in the hospital in Italy with an apparent gunshot wound that grazed his head. Trying to make sense of things, he discovers that a billionaire transhumanist created a virus that could wipe out humanity. He must find all the clues to find the location of the virus bomb before it explodes.
• November 2016
  
  • Bad Teacher (2011) - Cameron Diaz is a bad teacher. It's like Bad Santa, but a teacher and a semi-relevant plot. Also stars Justin Timberlake after they were already broken up.
  • Doctor Strange - The latest Marvel movie to date. Doctor Strange focus on the magical/mystical aspect of the Marvel universe. First we knew of people with superpowers. Then there were machine-enhanced humans. Then we have mutates/mutants. Then we have aliens and gods. Now they show the magical side of Marvel.
  • Children Who Chase Lost Voices (2011) - I have not finished this movie. I fell asleep when it came on Adult Swim.
  • Calendar Girls (2003) - middle aged women in England decided to pose naked in a calendar for a cancer benefit.
  • Up Close and Personal (1996) - Robert Redford and Michelle Pfeiffer. An oldie, but a goodie.
  • Arrival - The best sci-fi movie this year. Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner investigate a mysterious pod with aliens in them who touched down on earth. There are twelve of them around the world.
  • Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them - We're finally back in the world of Harry Potter. This time, the story takes place in America in 1926. Newt Scamander has not published his book yet. Something is killing wizards and nomaj (non-magic people).
  • The Divergent Series: Allegiant - This movie is so different from the last two movies in the franchise. I think the fans just gave up. Also, there's supposed to be a 4th movie and they're planning to turn it into a series.
  • Straight Outta Compton (2015) - The story on how Dr. Dre, Eazy-E, and Ice Cube started NWA, their struggles, their right and wrong choices, and what they are now.
• December 2016
  
  • Moana - Disney's 2nd attempt, after Lilo & Stitch, of showcasing Polynesian heritage and what they've learned in their studies. Great soundtrack from Lin-Manuel Miranda.
  • Rogue One: A Star Wars Story - This is the prequel that needed to be told, which jumpstarted the events in Star Wars: Episode IV A New Hope.
  • Midnight Special - It's an homage to Spielberg movies. A man, his friend, and his son is on the run from a cult and the government who wants to experiment on his son. His son has powers.
  • Self/Less (2015) - Ben Kingsley is a dying rich man who undergoes an experimental procedure to place his mind on a younger Ryan Reynolds body so he can live forever. Only problem is Ryan Reynolds' body is not a test tube body and is actually from a real person and he starts remembering past events.
  • Passenger - Chris Pratt wakes up 90 years too early on the ship's journey to a new colony planet. Jennifer Lawrence wakes up as well and they're the only two people awake in the ship. Hilarity ensues.
  • Assassin's Creed - Based on the successful Ubisoft franchise with great storytelling, this movie is none of those. Bland static characters that you can't get attached to. Worst movie I've seen this year even though I like the videogame series.
  • The Late Bloomer - I needed a palate cleanser after Assassin's Creed. Netflix to the rescue. It's about a therapist who finds out he has a brain tumor that's nesting near the pituitary gland, which preventive him from going through puberty. After surgery, he's goes through puberty at an accelerated speed. Stuff happens.

I'm done.

Work Update

After about a month of punishment, we finally got work from home privilege back.

In November, one of our co-workers complained to management about being a work buddy to a new employee, which meant they couldn't work from home for those two weeks. Management revoked work from home privilege to the entire team to send a message that it's not an entitlement. It's a privilege that some people are abusing.

It really sucks because this could have been avoided if they just talked to the team leads about it and made arrangements to rotate responsibilities with someone else.

We got at least 1 day work from home back until our project slows down. It doesn't matter to me as much, though. I get work done. It's just nice to sleep a little longer and work in PJs or home attire.

Other than that, my manager is pushing for me to become a team lead. I'm anxious about it, but it's a great opportunity. Besides, I can't make progress if I always take the easy road. There's a small project that I'll be leading in January for 6 weeks. Wish me luck.

I'm done.

Sprinting Through Assassin's Creed II

Assassin's Creed II is the 1st chapter in the Ezio trilogy showcasing Florence, Tuscany, Forli, and Venice Italy.

I still think this is the best story and Ezio is the most well-written character in all of the Assassin's Creed franchise. Lots of background information to delve into this game as well as the conspiracies that happened throughout the altered version of real world history.

Sprinting Time
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Florence........................ 02min27sec
Villa Monteriggioni............. 01min21sec
Tuscany......................... 02min54sec
Apennine Mountains.............. 07min53sec
Forli........................... 02min39sec
Venice.......................... 03min32sec

Total........................... 20min46sec

I'm done.

Traversing Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood

Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood is the 2nd chapter in the Ezio trilogy showcasing Rome.

With only one location, this video was easier to make. This is also the first Assassin's Creed game that lets you ride your horse inside city walls.

Sprinting............. 03min52sec
Strolling............. 15min59sec
Saddling Up........... 04min00sec

I'm done.

Return to editingTraversing Assassin's Creed: Revelations

Assassin's Creed: Revelations is the final chapter in the Ezio trilogy showcasing Constantinople.

With only one location, this video was easier to make.


Sprinting Time ...... 05min36sec
Strolling Time ...... 14min34sec

I'm done.

Sailing Around the Caribbean // Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag

The idea is to sail around the Wild West Indies seas without desynchronizing on the border. I sailed around counter clockwise starting from The Great Inagua Hideout. I lost my bearings on the bottom right corner of the map and about north of The Great Inagua Hideout. I tinkered with my counter around those points, so you'll see the timer counting down, and up, paused , and down again to be as close as possible to actual travel time.

I turned on several Abstergo cheats for smooth sailing (no waves) and calm weather. That didn't help much. There were still waves and rain.

Sailing Time............ 37min46sec

I'm done.

Strolling Through Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag

I wasn't sure how I would go about doing this in Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag. With 50 locations and 75 islands to explore, this proved to be a much harder task.

I decided to just stick with 3 major cities in the game: Havana, Nassau, and Kingston. Along Aveline de Grandré's memories, Freedom Cry and DLC islands, I didn't include the Great Inagua Hideout location, despite it being a major place in the game. The terrain towards the back of the island involves jumping between trees and platforms. It's not a problem with Edward sprinting, but walking makes this impossible.

Sprinting Times
Havana................. 01min48sec
Nassau................. 01min43sec
Kingston............... 03min46sec

Total.................. 07min17sec

I'm done.

Sprinting Through Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag

I wasn't sure how I would go about doing this in Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag. With 50 locations and 75 islands to explore, this proved to be a much harder task.

I decided to just stick with 3 major cities in the game: Havana, Nassau, and Kingston. Along Aveline de Grandré's memories, Freedom Cry and DLC islands, I didn't include the Great Inagua Hideout location, despite it being a major place in the game. The terrain towards the back of the island involves jumping between trees and platforms. It's not a problem with Edward sprinting, but walking makes this impossible.

Strolling Times
Havana................. 05min19sec
Nassau................. 05min08sec
Kingston............... 09min48sec

Total.................. 20min15sec

I'm done.

Kubros - Ezio

Kubros is a Mega Blok line of building block figures. It lets you build the biggest icons from gaming, movies, TV, and pop culture.

Ezio Auditore da Firenze is the main protagonist from Assassin's Creed 2, Assassin's Creed Brotherhood, and Assassin's Creed Revelations.

I'm done.

So...

Initially, I needed someone to blame for this election outcome. A scapegoat. So I looked at 3rd party voters. Now that I've cooled off a bit, I looked at the numbers.

In 2008, Pres. Obama won with 69.499 million votes over McCain's 59.948 million votes.

In 2012, Pres. Obama won with 65.916 million votes over Romney's 60.934 million votes.

The current count for Clinton is 59.814 million votes over Trump's 59.612 million votes, but she lost because of the electoral college.

Roughly 8-10% of registered Democrats also voted for Trump.

In these past 8-9 years, the voter turn out for conservative voters were roughly the same.

There's plenty of blame to go around. If you really want to blame someone, blame the almost 10 million people who didn't show up this year. Their votes REALLY MATTERED. Their votes could have flipped Congress in some shape or form. Their votes could have made changes at the state level.

I’m done.

WTF Fridays - 7 Billion

As Shakespeare once wrote: "All the world's a rabbit".

I'm done.

My Labor Day Weekend

For Labor Day weekend, my family and I went to Boston. It's my first time here and my parents as well. My sibling has been here before.

It was only for two days, so we took the Super Tour bus around Boston, Harvard, and Cambridge area. We went to the Millennium Tower and the Museum of Science afterwards. After that, we walked around downtown area near the pier and had dinner at Legal Sea Foods restaurant. The next day, we went to the Museum of Fine Arts. Overall it was a short and awesome trip.

I'm done.

Gene Wilder / Condescending Wonka

There’s no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There’s no knowing where we’re rowing
Or which way the river’s flowing

- Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder)

RIP

---

Dear Internet N00bs,

Spoiler alert: Willy Wonka memes are not about Gene Wilder.

Willy Wonka memes will live much longer than your attention span, showing that you care. Your selective outrage over this "disrespect" of posting Condescending Wonka memes will be as short lived as the next clickbait/triggering thing you'll be upset about and encounter online.

Sincerely,

Guy Who Experienced 14.4K Modem Connection

I'm done.

Summer Almost Done Musings

It's been awhile.

• Otakon came and gone. Just like last year, I did not take as many photos. I attended the Fairy Tail Photoshoot, and that was the last Otakon related photos I took. I have yet to upload them.
• I'm still under contract at work. Our project manager put a freeze on converting contractors for good reason (at least that's what they say). A new statement of work is coming and there are new positions. If they hired contractors now, they won't be eligible to apply for the new positions for 30 days (probably more) and those positions will be filled up. We'll see.
• I drove in the Capital Beltway today for the first time in 8 months. I do not miss it at all.
• College friends are getting engaged, having kids, or getting married. I've seen the photos shared. I think part of me will always feel envious or that I missed out in the festivities and the gatherings. It probably would have been nice If I had a closer relationship with them. Then again, when I really think about it, factor in the logistics of these events and my overall personality and outlook on things, I'm relieved that I'm not going through all of it and putting up a face on a stressful event. Small doses.
• I'll probably treat my sister to dinner tonight.

I'm done.

The Great Wall: Is It Whitewashing?

So we're here again with another Hollywood movie set in another country that's not the US with the main character played by a white actor. We've seen this happen time and time again over the years and the last few years have seen people on social media calling out Hollywood for whitewashing. But is it, though? For the people living in the US, from our perspective and without further knowledge from the inner workings of Hollywood, yes. From an outsider's perspective, not so much.

Whitewashing is a big problem in Hollywood movies. It stems from the industry culture that a movie will not do well overseas or attract producers/investors if the the main character (or the cast in general) are no name actors. And what does Hollywood have? Lots of well known white actors. To sell a movie overseas, they would need to include an up and coming, rising, seasoned, or veteran performer. Depending on the intent or source material for the movie, casting based on profitability causes problems as far as authenticity is concerned.

If a studio were to shoot some random fantasy movie in China about ancient China, investors in the board room would probably say things like this:

Investors: "I like this movie concept. But you know what would be nice? If it had MATT DAMON!!!"

It doesn't matter if these investors are American or Chinese. As far as the studio and the filmmakers are concerned, the investors have the money. Not only that, investors act on behalf of their target audience. For The Great Wall's case, it's the Chinese market. China has a big movie industry with lots of big name actors. But Chinese moviegoers also love Hollywood movies. The whole world loves Hollywood. The movies. The actors. The culture. Hollywood is a global entity. We've seen foreign commercials starring Hollywood actors. These are not coincidences. They were hired because the target market for that country wants to see them. This goes for movies on a bigger scale.

So we're at an impasse, one side (Americans) calling out the whitewashing and the other side (the rest of the world) who don't really have a problem with having famous non-native white actors in movies set in their country, be it fantasy or based on true stories. They actually embrace it. At the end of the day, Hollywood is still an industry driven by money. So what can you do?

There are several things you can do...

Jackie Chan and Jet Li did not get famous out of nowhere. Hollywood took notice that Jackie Chan and Jet Li were very popular worldwide. Their movies were also popular at Blockbuster and local cinemas running foreign film showings. So Rush Hour and Lethal Weapon 4 were most of America's introduction to Jackie Chan and Jet Li, respectively. Support foreign films. Watch foreign films. Buy foreign films. Which brings me to my next topic...
STOP DOWNLOADING/STREAMING MOVIES ILLEGALLY!!! If you want to see changes in Hollywood, including proper representation, put your money where your mouth is. Money talks and Hollywood listens.
Like everything else, there are exceptions. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon was a masterpiece with famous Chinese performers and overall fantastic visual storytelling. You could say that movie is an example that you don't need white actors to make foreign movies successful worldwide, but you have to keep in mind that the joint Taiwanese-Chinese-Hong Kong-American film was most of America's first exposure to flying choreographed martial arts. That was the gimmick that sold American audience to the movie. The movie was considered average in China/Hong Kong since they already have lots of movies using that uses better flying choreographed martial arts and storytelling.

As for The Great Wall, all we know right now is that Matt Damon and other non-Chinese actors are in the film. It's an epic fantasy movie with their enemies as "dragons" or something. We still don't know what Matt Damon's role is, but people are already jumping to conclusions as to what it really is. Over generalization cuts both ways and hurts your message.

I'm done.

My July 4th Weekend

For July 4th weekend, my family and I went to Calgary in Alberta, Canada to visit my cousin and her family.

We drove to Banff and stayed there overnight to go to Lake Louise and Moraine Lake. The next day, we rode the Gondola to the top of Sulphur Mountain and the Cosmic Ray Station and the Cascade Gardens. An hour or so drive later, we went back to Calgary and took them to Calgary Tower.

I'm done.

The Allure of Social Media (or Lack of It)

2009-2012 was the peak of my social media activity. Loneliness (or the urge to connect with people) drove me to pour my heart out to my Xanga. Same with Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook and various forums. 4 years later, I'm dispassionate and rarely make updates. At least, not as consistent as I used to.

Maybe it's the death of Xanga. The community aspect propelled Xangans. Still, the mass exodus happened before 2009. Remaining members interacted through top blogs. Those who never visited the front page of the site (like me, prior to 2007-2008) had no idea of the larger groups. Xanga 2.0 did nothing. I don't think it was necessarily a rip-off, but it was definitely false advertisement. The old Xanga platform was ripe for hackers and spammers to exploit. Most of the community didn't know it. Moving to another platform (Wordpress-powered Xanga 2.0) distanced the owners from the liabilities the old platform brought them. I guess it, too, distanced and divided its members.

Maybe something died inside me. A lot can happen in 4 years. Hopping from job to job, financial responsibilities, death in the family, online drama... dejection.

Maybe social media is saturated. Back in the Usenet group and IRC chat days (I guess AOL Instant Messenger is now part of that), it felt like you were in this secret online gathering. It felt special. What once was a niche gathering of like minded people is taken over by corporations monitoring your online activity, blasting ads up the wazoo catered to your browsing habits. It's still a gathering of like minded people, except everyone knows about it. Currently, social media is like the big city: crowded, noisy, and never sleeps.
Maybe it's all of them.

I'm done.

On the Road

Driving around for the past 11 days.

I'm done.

Pet Peeve: When People Make Their Own "Memes"

A meme is an element of a culture or system of behavior that may be considered to be passed from one individual to another by nongenetic means, especially imitation. A humorous image, video, piece of text, etc. that is copied (often with slight variations) and spread rapidly by Internet users.

A meme is a repeated idea. That's why advice animals are memes. Because it's the same basic concept done over and over with different exact circumstances.

JUST PUTTING TEXT AT THE TOP AND BOTTOM OF A PICTURE ISN'T A MEME!!!

This is a meme. Specifically, the use of Fry’s face with the text “Not sure if…” is the meme. What people normally call a meme is actually the image macro style. Annoyingly, this mistake is taking over (and, I guess, becoming a meme in and of itself. Meta.)

Here’s a list of things that are not memes:

Random, shitty photos with random, shitty captions
You
So remember, when you hear someone say “I made this cool meme”, you can be assured that they are almost certainly wrong.


I'm done.

Facebook Anxiety

I'm not the only one who gets anxious about adding people on Facebook, am I?

I overthink everything. Rationally, I know people have reasons for not accepting friend requests. I accept that. But the thought is overwhelming. I respect people's privacy too much that I stopped adding people altogether. People add me and I accept. And others probably feel the same way.

It's possible there's someone whom I would add and they would add me, but both of us feel the same way and overthink things. So we acknowledge each other's existence and don't want to overstep like the worst game of courteous chicken.

I'm done.

How to Lose Weight In 4 Easy Steps

HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT IN 4 EASY STEPS from Benjamin Berman on Vimeo.

15 Days of Rain Post

Guess that's what happens when Donald Trump becomes the presumptive Republican nominee: Tornadoes, 15 day rain streak in DC, cicadas and pollen. Time to build that Ark.

1. Haven't posted in awhile. Been busy with work. Still under contract even though my 6 months is up. Contractor says to continue working as normal since they haven't heard back from my manager regarding my employment (full-time conversion or contract extension).

2. About my job: I go to work every day unlike my last job where they allowed me to work from home 3 days a week (even the whole week). It's straight 9 to 5. Because of this routine schedule, I find myself waking up around the same time every day now.

About two months ago, management relaxed their stance on telecommuting and allowing us to work from home every other week. Each team are to decide the schedule. Team members are to alternative with their co-workers each week. I told my team that I'll still work at the office on Fridays because I can't work on the tiny laptop screens. I need a large monitor to extend my workspace. But not anymore. I'm working from home tomorrow.

3. My cousin and her family will be visiting us at the end of May. My nephew is almost 2 years old. So cute. I saw them last year on 4th of July weekend in Michigan. My parents are taking them to DC, then New York City.

4. I'm appreciating my ambiversion as the years go by.

5. Since the year started, I've watched 10 movies.

January
- Boruto: The Movie (2015) - After the end of Naruto, they released this movie about his son in the future. I liked it.
- The Hundred-Foot Journey (2014) - My mom saw this in theaters 2 years ago. Saw it on cable. Food cooking and competition is always good in my book.
- Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) - It was a long car chase movie. And it was a good.
- Kung Fu Panda 3 - Probably the last movie in the franchise. It was a nice send off. It felt like a last movie because every named character had more speaking roles than the previous movie.

February
- Deadpool - The first comic book movie of the year and it's still breaking records. It's made more money than all the other X-Men movies. It's definitely the comic book movie to beat.

March
- Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice - As far as comic book movies go, this falls in line with The Dark Knight trilogy. It dabbled more on philosophical topics and less on the comic stylings that Marvel Studios has done.

April
- The Jungle Book - I went in thinking this would just be an OK live adaptation of The Jungle Book cartoon, but I was wrong. I recommend it.
- Terminator: Genisys (2015) - I didn't like this one. Some franchises should just stop.

May
- Selma (2014) - This was a hard movie to watch. And that is why I watched it. It should have won a lot more awards.
- Captain America: Civil War - I read the arch this movie is based on and it's totally different, which is understandable. Most of the characters in the comics are in another studio (Fox) and the rest have yet to show up in their own movies (or lack of). Overall, Captain America: Civil War made a better showing and story than Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice for relatively the same budget.

I'm done.

Game of Thrones Construction Set - Iron Throne Room

With the sixth season of Game of Thrones arriving next Sunday, I thought I'd do this time lapse build.

Considered the ultimate symbol of power in the land of Westeros, the Iron Throne is the seat of kings in the Seven Kingdoms. His Grace, Joffrey of House Baratheon and Lannister, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm sits with smug satisfaction as he torments over all of his subjects while being protected by an extremely loyal and skilled Kingsguard.

I'm done.

LEGO Architecture - Berlin & Brandenburg Gate

I figured I'd put together these two sets together.

BERLIN
Germany’s capital and cultural center dates back to the 13th century and has shaped – and been shaped by – many dramatic events in European history.

From humble beginnings as a medieval trading center, the city played a key role in the rise of the Kingdom of Prussia and modern Germany.

THE BUILDINGS:

BERLIN TV TOWER

The 1,207 ft. (368 m) tower consists of an 820 ft. (250 m) concrete shaft upon which sits a seven-story sphere, crowned by a 387 ft. (118 m) red and white striped antenna mast. It remains Germany’s tallest structure and a popular destination for almost 1.2 million visitors every year.

DEUTSCHE BAHN TOWER

Architect Helmut Jahn designed the eye-catching 338 ft. (103 m) semi-circular glass and steel tower, which was completed in June 2000. The office is now home to Deutsche Bahn AG, the German national railway company, and is referred to as the BahnTower.

VICTORY COLUMN

Originally erected between 1864 and 1873 to commemorate famous victories in wars against Denmark, Austria and France, the Victory Column (Siegessäule) was extended to its current height of 220 ft. (67 m) during the 1930s.

The sandstone column stands upon a base of polished red granite and is crowned with a 27 ft. (8.3 m) high statue representing Victoria, the goddess of victory from Roman mythology.

BRANDENBURG GATE

Commissioned by King Frederick William II of Prussia, the Brandenburg Gate was built as the grandest of a series of 18 city gates through which Berlin was once entered. Designed by architect Carl Gotthard Langhans and constructed between 1788 and 1791, the inspiration for the gate came from the entry hall of the Acropolis in Athens, Greece.

REICHSTAG

The Reichstag was originally completed in 1894, was almost completely destroyed during World War II and remained largely unused until the reunification of East and West Germany in 1990.

The renowned English architect Sir Norman Foster was given the task of renovating the building and chose to combine the original historical façade with modern architectural elements such as the spectacular glass dome.

I'm done.

Classical Music

I grew up with the piano. My mom had the upright piano she grew up with at her old house transported to our humble home when I was about 4 years old. She had it tuned, painted and fixed. As a kid, anyone who played the piano was a mark of prestige to me. I was in awe and listened quietly with my sister whenever my mom played. She plays classical tunes and modern songs that I heard in the radio at the time. She also plays by ear.

As an adult, I still think piano playing is a mark of prestige, whether you were classically trained or self-taught. I learned that "classical music" is the blanket term attributed to all songs before the 20th century. We had medieval, renaissance, baroque, classical and romanticism, and then 20th and 21st century style music. This is only western music. It does not include music from other regions of the world and their vast histories.

I learned to play the piano by ear as a kid. In high school, I learned how to read sheet music and just went from there. I'm not classically trained. I guess you could say I have the best of both worlds. I played the most in high school. Other interests, college, my job... I don't play as much anymore. I still play piano and guitar when I'm inspired.

It makes me think about what people did for entertainment in the past. They had sports. They went to the beach. They hung out with friends. Only when the sun is up. At night, they went home. Without electricity, lamps were a hot commodity. Plays and concerts were a luxury that only the upper-class could afford. I imagine the demand and competition lowered the prices, allowing everyone from all walks of life to experience concertos, orchestras and operas.

When it came to classical music, the audience had to use their imagination. The pamphlets had short summaries on the scene for part of the music. The music sets the scene, evoking emotions, engrossing the audience.

But seriously, I just needed an excuse to post this Saint-Saens' The Carnival of Animals. The Aquarium, Dying Swan, and the Finale are my favorite.

I. Introduction et marche royale du lion (Introduction and Royal March of the Lion) [0:00]
II. Poules et coqs (Hens and Roosters) [1:58]
III. Hémiones - animaux véloces (Wild Asses - quick animals) [2:42]
IV. Tortues (Tortoises) [3:22]
V. L'éléphant (The Elephant) [5:24]
VI. Kangourous (Kangaroos) [6:55]
VII. Aquarium [7:51]
VIII. Personnages à longues oreilles (Characters with Long Ears) [9:58]
IX. Le coucou au fond des bois (The Cuckoo in the Depths of the Woods) [10:35]
X. Volière (Aviary) [12:40]
XI. Pianistes (Pianists) [13:52]
XII. Fossiles (Fossils) [15:15]
XIII. Le cygne (The Swan) [16:41]
XIV. Finale [19:40]

This is a famous musical suite by French composer Camille Saint-Saëns (1835-1921), written while on vacation in Austria in 1886. It is scored for a chamber ensemble of flute/piccolo, clarinet (B flat and C), two pianos, glass harmonica, xylophone, two violins, viola, cello and double bass - in this recording, a full orchestral string section is used, and instead of the glass harmonica, there is a glockenspiel. Saint-Saëns believed that the work was too frivolous to publish during his lifetime, and for this reason, he only gave private performances to his close friends. He left a provision for it to be published posthumously, so the Carnival of the Animals only received a formal premiere one year after the composer's death.

Each of the fourteen movements depicts a different animal, often with plenty of humour and wit.

The first is the majestic march of the king of the animals - the lion - played by strings and pianos. The low, rumbling octave figure passed between the pianos is, of course, the lion's mighty roar.

The second movement (for pianos, clarinet, violins and violas) sees hens and roosters squawking while pecking at grains on the ground. The distinctive theme played by the piano is the rooster's "cock a doodle doo" call.

Next, Tibetan wild asses - portrayed by the two pianos in unison - gallop frenetically through the scene.

In contrast, the next movement for strings and piano depicts the slow, laborious movement of tortoises. This satirical section takes its main theme from the famous Galop infernal (or the can-can) in Offenbach's "Orpheus in the Underworld" - but it is played exceedingly slowly.

Then, the double bass and piano play a pompous, heavy-handed dance for the elephant. The thematic material derives from the scherzo in Mendelssohn's incidental music to "A Midsummer Night's Dream" and the ballet of the sylphs in Berlioz's "The Damnation of Faust".

The brief sixth movement sees two pianos play an abrupt, bouncy figure depicting hopping kangaroos.

Next, we find ourselves inside the shimmering water of an aquarium full of graceful fish. This movement is played by strings, pianos, flute, and glockenspiel. The pianos play a high rolling ostinato - one in decuplets and the other in sextuplets.

There follows a short movement for violins that sound like braying donkeys; perhaps Saint-Saëns meant the donkeys to represent asinine music critics.

Next, the pianos and an offstage clarinet play a slow movement where a cuckoo's call breaks the quiet of the woods.

The tenth movement for flute, piano and strings depicts an aviary abuzz with quiet activity, over which a tropical bird (the flute) sings a melody full of trills and scales.

Then, we see a very different type of animal - pianists (who, after all, are primates). The two pianists awkwardly practice scale patterns similar to those found in Hanon exercises. The whole time, they stumble over notes and break unison - evidently they need more practice.

Three loud unresolved chords lead into the next movement for strings, pianos, clarinet and xylophone, depicting fossils. The hollow sound of the xylophone evokes bones clacking together. The melody is from Saint-Saëns' "Danse macabre", the dance of skeletons. Other musical allusions in this movement include "Ah! vous dirai-je, Maman" (a.k.a. "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"), "Partant pour la Syrie", the nursery rhymes "Au clair de la lune" and "J'ai du bon tabac", and a snippet from the aria "Una voce poco fa" from Rossini's "The Barber of Seville". The series of allusions is itself a musical joke, since these old tunes are cultural fossils.

The penultimate movement played by the cello and pianos shows the graceful gliding of a swan over a rippling lake. This very well-known section has become a stand-alone staple of the cello repertoire as well as the brief Fokine ballet "The Dying Swan".

Last comes the finale for the full ensemble, where themes from previous movements are reprised and combined to close the suite with excitement and panache.

Pianists: Vivian Troon, Roderick Elms
Conductor: Andrea Licata
Royal Philharmonic Orchestra

I'm done.

The Walking Dead Construction Sets - Wolves Not Far

This set is based on a scene in Season 5, Episode 9 of The Walking Dead. Michonne standing in front of a wall with the words "Wolves Not Far" painted, bloody katana in full display.

I'm done.

LEGO Architecture - Venice

This is one of three sets that LEGO debut in their Skyline series in the Architecture line. The Venice is the smallest of the three at 222 pieces. This is as miniaturized as you can get as far as LEGO bricks are concerned. They managed to fit 5 famous Venice landmarks.

Built on over 100 islands in a marshy lagoon at the edge of the Adriatic Sea, Venice has a skyline that rises from the water to create a unique architectural experience. There are no roadways or cars in the historic city; instead 177 canals crossed by over 400 bridges give access to innumerable narrow, mazelike alleys and squares.

THE BUILDINGS:

RIALTO BRIDGE

The Rialto Bridge (Ponte di Rialto) spans the Grand Canal at the heart of the historic city and was built between 1588 and 1591.

The single-span design with a 24 ft. (7.5 m) arch included three walkways: two along the outer edges and a wider central walkway between two rows of small shops. The entire structure was built on some 12,000 wooden pilings that still support the bridge over 400 years later.

BRIDGE OF SIGHS

Designed by Antonio Contino and completed in 1602, the Bridge of Sighs (Ponte dei Sospiri) is an enclosed bridge that passes over the Rio di Palazzo and connects the old city prison to the interrogation rooms in the Doge’s Palace.
The bridge’s romantic name is thought to refer to the sighs of convicts as they saw their last view of Venice before being taken to their prison cells.

ST. MARK’S CAMPANILE

The 323 ft. (98.6 m) tall St. Mark’s Campanile (Campanile di San Marco) stands alone in the corner of St. Mark’s Square, near the front entrance to the basilica. The brick structure is 39 ft. (12 m) wide on each side and 160 ft. (50 m) tall, upon which sits a belfry housing five bells.

ST. MARK’S BASILICA

St. Mark’s Basilica (Basilica di San Marco) is the most famous church in Venice and the best-known example of the city’s unique Italo-Byzantine architecture.
The current structure is thought to have been constructed between 1073 and 1093. The basilica is laid out in the design of a Greek cross and the tallest of the five domes reach 141 ft. (43 m) in height.

ST. THEODORE AND THE LION OF VENICE COLUMNS

Two granite columns stand guard at the entrance to St. Mark’s Square (Piazza di San Marco). Both columns are believed to have been erected in about 1268.
On top of the western column is a statue of St. Theodore, the first patron of the city. On the eastern column stands the winged Lion of Venice, the symbol of the second patron of the city, St. Mark.

I'm done.

Why You Don't Need To Use The Oxford Comma

Apparently I'm out for blood on the internet today.

Do you ever question "facts" and "knowledge bombs" shared by your friends? Are you the type of person who just accepts them as truth? Or do you just say "interesting" or nod your head in agreement and forget about it 5 minutes later? Either way, you don't have to use the Oxford Comma.

Here are some of the pictures circulated online showing examples of why you need to use the Oxford comma.

A quote from the preface or dedication page of a book: "Among those interviewed were Merle Haggard's two ex-wives, Kris Kristofferson and Robert Duvall. This book is dedicated to my parents, Ayn Rand and God. Highlights of Peter Ustinov's global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year-old demigod and a dildo collector."

With the Oxford Comma: We invited the rhinoceri, Washington, and Lincoln. [Description: a picture of two rhinoceri, President Washington and President Lincoln.]

Without the Oxford Comma: We invited the rhinoceri, Washington and Lincoln [Description: a picture of both President Washington's and President Lincoln's heads superimposed on the two rhinoceri]

Why I still use the Oxford comma.

With: I had eggs, toast and orange juice [Description: a picture of two eggs + toast + orange juice.]

Without: I had eggs, toast and orange juice. [Description: a crude drawing of a person saying "I had eggs" to a toast with a face, covered in orange juice, saying "OK."]

With the Oxford comma: We invited the strippers, JFK, and Stalin. [Description: A drawing of JFK, Stalin and two strippers.]

Without the Oxford comma: We invited the strippers, JFK and Stalin. [Description: A drawing of JFK and Stalin as strippers.]



See a pattern?

It's the same example. The only different scenario is the toast and orange juice photo. Nevertheless, all of these scenarios can easily be understood given the context of the sentence.

Many have suggested that you rearrange words without using the Oxford comma.

Instead of "We invited the strippers, JFK and Stalin"

Do "We invited JFK, Stalin and the strippers."

It still does its job and it's grammatically accurate. However, if you don't want to change the word placement and your intent is to invite the two-piece wearing JFK and nipple-tassel clad Stalin, you can use a colon.

"We invited the strippers: JFK and Stalin."

Grammar is context-based. Oxford commas are still optional. You don't need it. Unless you actually think Nelson Mandela broke bread with Methuselah and appreciated phallic stimuli or you hear voices and talk to orange-juice-covered toasts. Then by all means, use the Oxford comma. No judgments.

*walking away*

I'm done.

You Have NOT Been Using Chopsticks Wrong

So people online have been raving about this new "revelation" regarding wooden chopsticks. Apparently, the tail end of regular wooden (bamboo) chopsticks that come in red or generic paper wrapper provided at many Asian restaurants can be snapped off to act as a rest or holder to keep the tip of the chopstick untouched to the table. Chopstick aficionados, young Asians, and hipsters-alike got themselves questioning their life experiences.

"How did I not know this?"

"Why was I so stupid not to realize it?"

"Why didn't my parents, aunts, and uncles tell me this is how wooden chopsticks work?"

"Did I just bring dishonor to my ancestors and family?"

It's not a thing. You're not stupid. There is no secret. You didn't bring dishonor to your family.

So that everyone will stop sharing these pictures or sites that promote misinformation like they found the holy grail, here's the actual source of the photos: https://www.behance.net/gallery/15793783/Slow-Chopstick-Utensil-Design

Slow Chopstick is a design concept for wooden chopsticks that incorporates the fluted design of the tail part of a toothpick (a very old Japanese traditional design), so it can be easily snapped off. The separated end is used to keep the front end of the toothpick (and with this specially designed chopstick) untouched to the table.

So no. The tail end of regular wooden chopsticks is never meant to function as a rest or holder. This is a specialty product with easily "snappable" ends. You're not "doing it wrong."

Now you're a little bit smarter in an ocean still full of misinformation.

I'm done.

WTF Fridays - 孔明の罠 - Kaizo Trap

A Kaizo trap is a type of video game Hope Spot: You have just finished a difficult challenge, such as defeating a boss, completing a level, or even winning the whole game. The battle is over and you breathe a sigh of relief. Then the game kills you during the victory cutscene, and you have to do it all over again.

The player has to find a way to defuse the trap before completing their actual goal, as their fate is otherwise unavoidable after triggering the cutscene and losing control of their character.

This is what happens in the video. A courageous girl fights 8-bit hell to rescue her man in Guy Collins' animated dubstep adventure.

I'm done.

People at Work Think I'm A Smartass

So we had a meeting on Thursday last week. Usually we start by going over our agendas. This time, our managers decided to let everyone else discuss their projects instead of them talking.

So our guest in the meeting talked about this Sharepoint best practices meeting and to respond and vote for their preferred date for the meeting. One of my co-workers mentioned how she couldn't find the vote button in the email. I'm not expert on Microsoft Outlook 2010 myself, but when you use these programs daily, you tend to pick up how it works or do your own research. Being sincerely helpful, I replied to my co-worker and said "you have to open the email."

The voting option in Outlook desktop client emails is only visible if you (1) right-click on the email itself or (2) open the email in its own window. If you right-click the email, you'll see the word "vote" as one of the options if that email has voting enabled. To open the email, you either double-click it or press "Enter" while the email is highlighted. The "Vote" button will be at the top menu options. It will NOT be present if you view the email in the preview window.

After my comment, my co-worker gave me that look as if I was mocking her. Everybody else laughed. My manager thought I was being a smartass. One of the few times I speak up at work and that's what I said. I didn't realize it until a few minutes later how it all seemed to everyone else. I already knew that most of my co-workers are not as tech-savvy as me. It was at that moment that I realize most people in that room probably didn't know what I was talking about. (There are several other moments from last week when co-workers didn't know what Excel VLOOKUP is, but I digress)

After the meeting, I explained to my co-worker that I wasn't being a smartass. That I LITERALLY meant to OPEN the email. I talked to another co-worker and she didn't see the voting button either until I showed her. It's not really technical. Then again, I'm operating on a highly-technical level compared to them. I guess that makes me seem smarter (not that I'm not). Not a smartass.

I'm done.

Jon Batiste Performs 'Blackbird'

In honor of the release of The Late Show EP and the 52nd Anniversary of The Beatles' performance at the Ed Sullivan Theater, Jon Batiste performs "Blackbird."

Thirty-Two

• In math, thirty-two (32) is the 5th power of two. 32 is the ninth happy number. 32 = 1¹ + 2² + 3^3.
• In science, 32 is the atomic number of germanium. It is the freezing point of water at sea level in degrees Fahrenheit.
• In music, 32 is the number of completed, numbered piano sonatas by Beethoven. It's in the title of They Might Be Giant's "32 Footsteps," Genesis' "The Chamber of 32 Doors," Mr. Mister's "32," and Sum41's "32 Ways To Die."
• There are 32 Kabbalistic Paths of Wisdom. The Hindu deity Ganesh has 32 forms.
• The total number of black squares, white squares and pieces on a chessboard at the beginning of the game.
• There are currently 32 teams in the NFL.
• The number of teeth of a full set of teeth in a human adult, including the wisdom teeth. I only have 28 right now. They took out 5 wisdom teeth when I was 17. Too much wisdom.
• Also, 32 will be me in a few days.

Job

It's been a whirlwind these past few years. Time just went by real quick. My 4th job after college was the longest job I held at 2.5 years. I was 28 when I started. I was a contractor and hoped that it would become permanent. The client company wanted to hire me, but my subcontractor didn't want to lose the spot. I reached the maximum number of hours for contractors. So they had to let me go. They intended on hiring me after 6 months has passed. I wasn't going to wait that long.

From May to October of last year, I was unemployed. I didn't have to wake up early. I didn't have to dress up. As liberating as it sounds, I still had to keep looking. I had money saved up, but I wasn't going to use that. I qualified for unemployment benefits. They deposit an estimated amount to my bank account based on my tax return the previous year. I'd keep getting money each week, provided that I report at least two job contacts each week. I had at least 2-3, maxing at 6 contacts on some weeks. I fielded calls, recruiters, numerous phone interviews, in person interviews, skype interviews... unemployment is busy work.

One job in DC is too good to be true. I was 2nd place and they chose the other person. They opened up a position just so they could hire me sometime in August, but they took too long and did not respond. A was really eyeing this web development job in Baltimore City. They brought me in twice after the initial phone screen and phone interview. They decided on not opening the position and rethinking their plan on the upcoming projects they have. Not sure if they were letting me down easy (bullshit) or they had a change of heart.

I interviewed for a job near the worst company I ever worked for 4 years ago. Turns out they support the same client, but on different projects. I started working back in November. It's a 6 month contract with a possible full-time offer. Out of all my past jobs after college, this is the least technical compared to my last job. I knew this prior to signing the papers. I was hoping there was some leeway with getting into program, but it's not that type of project. We create tickets based on customer/user inquiries about the websites we support. We use pre-approved answers that relate to the specific inquiry. If it's a unique case or something that we don't have access to, we escalate it to the support team or the program team. So when I get free time, I look for ways to optimize certain processes using actual scripts (Excel VBA, batch script, etc). Basically, I'm not challenged enough and I look for ways to challenge myself so I don't get bored.

On top of that, the job in DC opened up. The recruiter texted me a week after I started work. I declined. In January, he texted back saying the job is opening up again and that this time it's direct hire (no contract). I hate it when this happens. Just when I'm settling in my new job with new co-workers who actually understand me and I can hang with outside of work, they spring up an offer that's too good to be true. At the same time, my manager from my last job said they have two openings. And since six months have passed, I'm eligible for becoming a contractor or a full hire. All this from last month. I stopped entertaining the thought of leaving my current job. I just want to do well here. In 3 months, I'll know whether they hire me full time or I'll start looking for another job. I don't think I can do another 6 months of contract work. I'm not getting any younger. I need a full time job with 401k company matching, medical, dental and life insurance and paid time off.

Personal

Outside of work, I'm like a hermit. Other than my friends at work, I don't really hang out much. I go out on Friday nights alone, play at the local Dave n Busters. Sometimes I run into friends and have drinks with them. I watch a movie alone or with my parents if they're watching the same movie as me. Most of the time, I just stay home. I'm content.. sort of. I put a tough face out there, but I'm profoundly sad. There are days where I get sad or feel the existential dread creeping that, instead of curling into the fetal position or cry, it's too much effort that I'm just overcome with apathy.

About 5 years ago, my father's health got worse. Drug use and excessive living has caught up with his diabetes. Any news from the Philippines was mixed with good and bad news. The distance helped in a way. I could consciously block the thought. When I couldn't, I kept myself busy. I was angry when my last relationship ended. That anger helped. It kept the thoughts about my sick father at bay. Over the years, he got worse and worse. His situation was too grave to ignore early in 2013. But I was stubborn. I held a grudge on what he said about my mom and my youngest sister. I used that anger. I was a coward. I had the feeling that his time was coming to an end. I really should have made peace with everything. For over a year, he would call me for various reasons (money or just to talk). I didn't reply. I didn't call back. I let the voicemail pile up. I let the text messages pile up. My sister told me that even though he asks about money a lot, my father just really wants to talk to me. He was lonely. Then didn't call anymore. When he went to my grandma early September 2014, he fell in his room and hit his head. They took him to the hospital. They determined he suffered a stroke. He must have hit his head hard cause his brain was swelling. He was in a coma for a week. Then he died. I cried for two days. Us four (me, my mom and my two sisters) went back to the Philippines 4 days later. We got there at 12 midnight on Sunday. We stayed at the wake the whole day on Sunday. We buried him on Monday. I felt like crying, but I couldn't.

I've cried on several occasions since then. Sometimes it's completely unexpected. When I hear a song. When I see something in a movie. When I see something in the mall. Maybe me being a semi-recluse has something to do with denying the hurt and the regret I feel about my father. I wish I was more forgiving. I wish I have better voicemails of him on my phone. I wish I remember better conversations with him. I wish I have videos and more pictures of him. I wish I had a better relationship with him. I wish I don't have to feel this way. (I don't really know where I'm going with this. I'm diving into my feelings. I'm in it right now.)

...

On the bright side, I try to find happiness in the little things. I do need to take better care of my health. I appreciate what I have. Helping others. Giving back. I'm grown up enough already. I'm the only thing I can be. Me.

*becoming*

I'm done.

My Saturday

I don't post much personal stuff as I used to. In a way, my LEGO and gaming videos, technically, are my creations, ergo, personal stuff. But who am I kidding, right?

I watched Kung Fu Panda 3 with my younger sister. Her treat. I really like this movie. I think it's better than the second movie, story wise. It also made several callbacks to the last two movies and every character here have more speaking roles as the previous movie. So it's safe to say this is the last Kung Fu panda movie and a great send off.

I initially planned on sending my two bags of donations to Goodwill after the movie, but I fell asleep at home. I woke up at 7. Donation hours ended at 5. So might as well eat dinner.

Hot House Sake

Fried Buffalo Wings with Spicy Mayo Dip

Sashimi

I'm done.