Why?

After all this time... why?

I haven't heard from her since she blocked/removed me from facebook. I thought I was doing great. And yet, when she comments on our friend's status or wall (even though I don't see her profile picture or info, I can still see her name) my heart skips a beat and it feels like I'm dying a little inside.

I've broken my small toe. Sprained my ankles multiple times without going to the doctor. Fell from a tree when a branch broke. Jumped from a moving vehicle and scraped myself silly rolling 20+ feet on the hot asphalt downhill. I shrugged them off even when blood was dripping from my wounds. Then why do I feel so weak when it involves her? She was my source of power and courage. My sunlight. Why now does she have to be my weakness...my Kryptonite?

I'm trying not to run out of options to staying calm and be peace-minded. Talking about it here is just not cutting it anymore.

I need to get out of this...

I'm done.