This isn't one of my "ex-broke-up-with-me-and-I'm-being-miserable-because-I'm-depressed-and-tired-and-angry-and-sad-and-want-to-vent-because-I-have-no-other-output-for-the-time-being" post... or is it? It's a mixture of both. It's something different.
Before I go to sleep, I've been thinking about what to do with my life. As of right now, it's very routine. I wake up, get dressed, go to work, go home, eat, computer, tv, go to sleep... the cycle repeats again until the weekend. It's like I'm not doing anything at all. I'm asking the same question over and over again: what am I doing here?
When I was single before I met my ex-girlfriend, I spent my weekends with my family. When I went to college, I started going to the mall and would travel by myself. When I met my ex before we were boyfriend/girlfriend was the first time I was able to hang out with other people besides my family. When we became boyfriend/girlfriend I was able to do almost anything on the weekends with her and sometimes with our friends. When we broke up, I was lost and tried to use my weekends to try and go places by myself like I used to when I was single.
So far it's not working as well as I wanted it to. It's hard trying to shut everyone else out just because they are friends with your ex. Take note that I wasn't friends with them just because they're my ex's friends. I too consider them my friends whether they are close or not. .
Some say I shouldn't hang out with them cause they would only remind me of my ex. The thing is, I'm way past that. Whatever her reason for breaking up with me, I'm over it. It's none of my concern now. I have some assumptions of why we ended up this way, but I'm trying not to pursue it. I would hate myself if my assumptions are right because nobody deserves to have their hopes crushed. Call me egotistic, but a lot of times I'm usually right. I hate it when I'm right. I'd rather be wrong about things like this.
For now, I'm keeping my distance. Work is keeping me busy. Not hanging out and spending money by going to restaurants is saving me a bunch of money. And I mean a LOT OF MONEY :)
That's all I can do for now. Hopefully in the future we mend fences and become good friends like we were before we were in a relationship. If not, it would be a shame... but not my loss. From how I see it, what I gained = ME.
I'm done.
Before I go to sleep, I've been thinking about what to do with my life. As of right now, it's very routine. I wake up, get dressed, go to work, go home, eat, computer, tv, go to sleep... the cycle repeats again until the weekend. It's like I'm not doing anything at all. I'm asking the same question over and over again: what am I doing here?
When I was single before I met my ex-girlfriend, I spent my weekends with my family. When I went to college, I started going to the mall and would travel by myself. When I met my ex before we were boyfriend/girlfriend was the first time I was able to hang out with other people besides my family. When we became boyfriend/girlfriend I was able to do almost anything on the weekends with her and sometimes with our friends. When we broke up, I was lost and tried to use my weekends to try and go places by myself like I used to when I was single.
So far it's not working as well as I wanted it to. It's hard trying to shut everyone else out just because they are friends with your ex. Take note that I wasn't friends with them just because they're my ex's friends. I too consider them my friends whether they are close or not. .
Some say I shouldn't hang out with them cause they would only remind me of my ex. The thing is, I'm way past that. Whatever her reason for breaking up with me, I'm over it. It's none of my concern now. I have some assumptions of why we ended up this way, but I'm trying not to pursue it. I would hate myself if my assumptions are right because nobody deserves to have their hopes crushed. Call me egotistic, but a lot of times I'm usually right. I hate it when I'm right. I'd rather be wrong about things like this.
For now, I'm keeping my distance. Work is keeping me busy. Not hanging out and spending money by going to restaurants is saving me a bunch of money. And I mean a LOT OF MONEY :)
That's all I can do for now. Hopefully in the future we mend fences and become good friends like we were before we were in a relationship. If not, it would be a shame... but not my loss. From how I see it, what I gained = ME.
I'm done.
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