Even though my family left the Philippines all the way to the US, my past still haunts me. It seems like there's no escaping it. No matter how much I try to distance myself, it's always at the corner of your eye waiting to startle you and make everything you've built to be strong to fall apart.
Dad in the Philippines calls/texts me asking for money for a business he wants to start. Then he texts me making me feel guilty for only helping him when he was in prison or when he got really sick and saying why I'm not helping him now.
I was really close to having a nervous breakdown on Monday and Tuesday at work this week. I'm torn between doing the right thing or what is necessary.
When he sent me that text making me feel guilty I was really torn between not doing anything or a scathing response.
"Between that you were doing drugs even if you already went to prison for it. You expect us to believe your health deteriorated because only of bad eating habits? Don't act like we owe you anything. I love you, pa. But enough is enough."
Call me a coward, but I'm not heartless enough to tell someone the cold hard truth.
He's the reason why we left him in the first place. He's always thinking about himself and what he can get from others. No conscience at all. My mom told me that I should have told him what I really felt when he calls or texts me back.
The present part of my life is looking up. I just did the grandest thing I've ever done in my opinion and cemented myself as someone that can make things happen if I set my mind to it.
The past part of my life is still holding me back in a way...
Interweb, I don't care if you care or not, you have your own problems to deal with I'm just another person with his cry for help.
I'm done.
Dad in the Philippines calls/texts me asking for money for a business he wants to start. Then he texts me making me feel guilty for only helping him when he was in prison or when he got really sick and saying why I'm not helping him now.
I was really close to having a nervous breakdown on Monday and Tuesday at work this week. I'm torn between doing the right thing or what is necessary.
When he sent me that text making me feel guilty I was really torn between not doing anything or a scathing response.
"Between that you were doing drugs even if you already went to prison for it. You expect us to believe your health deteriorated because only of bad eating habits? Don't act like we owe you anything. I love you, pa. But enough is enough."
Call me a coward, but I'm not heartless enough to tell someone the cold hard truth.
He's the reason why we left him in the first place. He's always thinking about himself and what he can get from others. No conscience at all. My mom told me that I should have told him what I really felt when he calls or texts me back.
The present part of my life is looking up. I just did the grandest thing I've ever done in my opinion and cemented myself as someone that can make things happen if I set my mind to it.
The past part of my life is still holding me back in a way...
Interweb, I don't care if you care or not, you have your own problems to deal with I'm just another person with his cry for help.
I'm done.
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