Thursday, July 2, 2009

Rough Week/My Anime Doppelgänger

Rough Week

If it wasn't for the 3-day July 4th weekend, I'll probably be really pissy in the weekend.

Monday started with a full day... of work. The rest of the entire work week was all about ECRs, CRs, and SRs. So I don't get in trouble and to make a long story short, I was saving everyone's behinds and making sure everyone is on top of things. I don't think I can get any more vague than that. I can only speak for myself when I say that I've never been more busy at work for 4 days straight. The other times when I'm busy is during the weekends and late night phone calls when I'm the primary for the week. For some reason something always happens when I'm on call. However, I'm not on call this week and everything seems to be happening just as they would happen if I was the primary. I guess that is a good thing. Either way, I was still busy. If it wasn't for some of my co-workers and Yee in being able to talk to her, I'd probably go "postal" (inside joke of mine).

Now it's Thursday and all I have to look forward to is the 3-day weekend of free time by myself. I'll have more time to practice my skit, mail the books that people requested from me, read books I still have to read, braid the white strings (^_^), and do other things whatever I want to do for this weekend by myself.

I think I'm starting retrace my old steps in being alone and not needing others even though part of me still wants to be with someone :( Eh... whatever, we'll see. I don't have time right now and I've saved a bunch of money just for being single... except for my Otakon spending spree ^__^

It's only once a year, so I'm not complaining. I told myself I wouldn't miss another one of this anime convention. Speaking of anime (nice segway), this takes us to my next topic...

My Anime Doppelgänger

Dop⋅pel⋅gäng⋅er

[dop-uhl-gang-er; Ger. daw-puhl-geng-er]
–noun

a ghostly double or counterpart of a living person.

I got into a discussion with Yee about anime characters that we subconsciously think are us in real life. My favorite anime/manga right now is Fullmetal Alchemist so I said that I can relate to Roy Mustang. Otherwise, I wouldn't cosplay as him :) There are other characters I've identified with in the past and still to this day. I don't really think about it as much, but I've identified myself with the loner characters... some of which secretly want to just be acknowledged.

  • Colonel Roy Mustang, The Flame Alchemist (Fullmetal Alchemist) - straight from the wiki pages: Mustang is intelligent and adaptable. These traits usually ensure that he is always one step ahead of his opponents. He also likes to feel in control of the situation. He also feels obligated to look out for the Elric Brothers. Mustang resolves to protect his subordinates and feels personally responsible for their well being, placing their safety above his own. Though a hero of the Ishbal War, he remains haunted by the horrors of war and suffers great remorse for the lives of civilians he took.

    I don't want to be rude and sound arrogant, but I consider myself to be intelligent and adaptable. If I'm very receptive, that should mean I'm adaptable. I feel responsible to look after my siblings, parents and people I care about. It may sound controlling, but it's really not. Not to be confused with responsible obligations, I do like to be in control. I don't like it when things start falling apart right in front of me. Everything must be calculated. I don't want any mistakes. This is both my strength and my weakness. I prefer to word it as this: "Your greatest weakness is your greatest strength."
  • Uzumaki Naruto (Naruto) - He's playful and cheerful. He likes to joke around and play pranks on people so they would pay attention to him. In truth, he just wants people to notice him. People looked at him different. He dreams of becoming the Hokage when he grows up so that people will recognize and respect him. He has a can do attitude that is very contagious to people around him. They say that is his unique power.

    Naruto is probably the only anime character that is a main character and one of the more popular anime/manga right now that I can relate to. He is the reason why I watch Naruto in the first place. At first I would make fun of it as a DBZ/Kenshin rip-off, but once I saw the first episode, I was hooked. Anyway, I used to play jokes and make fun of people when I was little just to get attention. I don't do that now... well maybe just a bit. What I still have now is being playful and cheerful. I can make friends very easily, but I'm very selective right now. Someday, I want to do something that will make people recognize me and respect me. It's not showing off or anything, but I want to do something that matters to people. Another thing I didn't mention about Naruto is that when he gets mad, his anger takes over and controls him. I have what is called "implosive anger." If it keeps getting pushed and pushed, eventually it will pop and cause mass damage and wreck havoc... just like Naruto's 9-tailed beast inside of him.

    That's right... my anger is not to be messed with. Supressing it takes a lot out of me. If I manage to keep it low, it is very worth it... it's really hard, though.
  • Kino (Kino's Journey) - Kino is the main character in "Kino's Journey" who is accompanied by her talking motorcycle, Hermes, travelling throughout the world with different countries and forests, each of which have different customs and people. She only stays there for three days and two nights because she believes that is the amount of time needed to learn about the that place while still have time to to explore other lands. She mentioned before that this principle is probably a lie, but if she stays any longer than that, she's afraid of settling down. Each of the places Kino visits are beautiful in their own ways but always has a dark side to it.

    I can relate to Kino because part of me wants to settle down, but I'm afraid to do so. I still want to explore the world and see what it has to offer. I have a mom who wants to know everything I do every day to the point that she texts me every morning if I have arrived at work. But I love her for being that way. Other parents don't even care where their kids are or when their kids get home. My other sister (the middle one) has moved out of the house and is living her life by herself. I wish had the will power to do it, but I just don't have it right now. I know I can, but I care so damn much. I know I chose to be a comp sci major, but I really wanted to be a doctor. I want to help people. Because of time and money, it just wasn't in the time table back then. I had to chose a major that is somewhat reliable and what is on demand right now that I know I can be good at. If I could I would drop everything and go to Med school. The other option is explore the world on what I really want to do. I don't have anyone depending on me right now, so I can do those. My youngest sister is about to start college. I don't think I have it in me to leave yet. We'll see.
  • Any anime character that is a loner, protector, explorer - There are too many of them to name. Basically, I prefer to be independent. I don't like it when circumstances are holding me back when I could be doing something important. Part of me does want to settle down, though. I'm still 25 going on 26. There are so many things I want to do. I guess you could say that is selfish. We have to be selfish at times. The problem is the people we care about... the people that care about us.

    I can only speak for myself when I say that my mom's and my self's kindness have been burned so many times. I have deep respect for my family and elders. The problem is that some of my family and elders have no respect for me or my mom. They use people to get their way. If we can't help them they talk bad behind our backs. If we help them, they complain that it isn't enough. Part of me wants to wreck havoc and punch somebody. I wont apologize if I don't help certain people in my family. It's not my place to judge them, but helping them in the past never helped anybody else. Was I glad we helped them? Yes. Did we get thanked for it? Only at face value. Meaning, it was temporary and the help we gave them was just thrown right back in our face.
I rambled on far too long. I started writing this at 7:30PM ... I dozed off and fell asleep. Woke up at around 2AM (Why do I always wake up at around 2AM? The quietest hour :( ). I'll end this note with a quote from Kino's Journey:

"The world is not beautiful, therefore it is."

I'm done.

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